Mind the gap

May 11, 2022

"I'm right here,
and I ain't no Santa Claus."

PINNED: this newsletter started as a way to highlight movies coming to theaters (see: the name). Then, "the bullshit" happened. And I started featuring movies in theaters, VOD or streaming (see: the +). Point is, if there's a movie worth checking out, you'll probably find it here.

Mind the gap.

I don't mean the space between the platform and the train. I mean the time between movie sequels. In two weeks we'll finally see Tom Cruise breaking the sound barrier again (and hopefully spilling some coffee as he does it). It will have been 36 years since the original Top Gun was released - a bit more than intended due to delays from "the bullshit," but either way it was gonna be a loooooong time between original and sequel. One might think that that amount of time passing would make people care less. And yet, I actually think the time between has increased desire. It certainly helps that the trailers have been great and now early reactions are coming out, and they're good, like really good. It also doesn't hurt that Cruise has turned his Mission: Impossible into a franchise that competes with superhero movies, keeping himself relevant. But at the core is people's love for the original. Top Gun was a massive hit, the biggest of its release year (1986) in fact. A friend of mine (who recently wrote a book on how to become a pilot) told me the movie increased applications to the Navy (yes, the Navy, as that's who runs TOPGUN) by something like 400% (or was it 200%??). Whatever it was, it was a lot. And while it may not do the same this time around, it will increase Paramount's revenue as it looks to be another big hit for them this year.

And while it's still a ways out (December), we also finally saw a trailer for the first (of four!! planned) Avatar sequels. Mind you it's been 13 years since we first visited Pandora. Which, if my math is correct, is a lot less time than 36 years. And yet, it almost feels longer in some emotional sense. Because while Avatar is still the highest grossing movie of all time (worldwide) - over any Avengers movie, bigger than Star Wars and even topping the recent and massively successful Spider-Man reboots - it still feels less relevant than a movie that came out while Ronald Reagan was president. Because how often do you hear references to Avatar, outside of the fact they're planning the umpteen sequels? Probably not much. What if a sequel were released like three years after? Do we think it does better, or worse?

But based on this splashy Hollywood Reporter article, the trailer has been viewed 148 million, sorry, 148.6 million times in 24 hours. And while that sure sounds like a big number, and it is!, I've literally written dozens of reports that help foster those press articles and know that the studio has marks that they are looking to hit. I'm not saying Disney is lying about the number, but only they know how much they spent to get it (read: I bet it was a lot). And while it's "just a number," it matters. Because Avatar is a movie that has always felt like it's successful because it was talked about as being a success. I remember being hyped because I felt like I was supposed to be hyped back in 2009. This one? Less so. So how does it all go down? Will it be another massive success?

My guess is there is an initial wave of interest, but unlike the original, which dropped very little at the box office over its first few weeks, it'll see fairly steep declines, petering out at a lot less than the first one. Sort of in contrast to Top Gun: Maverick in that it'll "underperform," while the Cruise starrer will be considered a big "overperformer" - even if Avatar 2 ends up making more money.

Then again, I ask the question later in the email, but when is it ever a good idea to bet against James Cameron? 😬

Extra Credit Movies:

Montana Story: A drama about childhood trauma that also happens to be very pretty looking due to its location. The reviews are solid, saying its a bit quiet, but successful at dealing with the emotions it presents. Playing in LIMITED theaters this Friday.

Pleasure: follows a woman's journey into the porn industry and all that she encounters. Reviews say it's "provocative," and isn't an indictment, but does bring plenty of critiques; but honestly, I'd be most curious to hear a review by an actual sex worker. Playing in LIMITED theaters this Friday.

On the Count of Three: a movie directed by / starring Jerrod Carmichael - coming off his much talked about and well reviewed comedy special - it's a dark comedy where two friends agree to kill each other in a suicide pact, but instead spend one last(?) day getting into some shit. Reviews say it's able to split the difference between being caustic and dramatically honest. Playing in LIMITED theaters AND streaming this Friday.

Sneakerella: Disney does Cinderella, except it's gender-flipped and there are sneakers and rapping. Early few reviews are actually not as bad as you might expect. But maybe expectation setting matters here. Playing on Disney + this Friday.

FIRESTARTER

Stephen King writes a lot of books. Many of those books have been made into movies. I could ask you how many, but that'd be boring. I want to know if you can tell me how many of his books turned into movies have been remade (provisos: not including TV miniseries, but including made for TV versions).

*cue Jeopardy music*

Ready? So I believe the answer is three (Carrie, Pet Sematary and Children of the Corn). Firestarter makes it four. Technically it's five if you count the upcoming Shawshank Redemption remake.

?!?!?!?!!?

jkjkjkjkjk. I hope...

So why Firestarter then? What's so special? Honestly, I couldn't tell you. The 1984 original starring a young Drew Barrymore is by no means considered a classic. It didn't even make a bunch of money at the box office. From a quick perusal the book itself isn't on the top of King's most beloved books. It's worth noting the story does lend itself to comparisons to the far more popular, and recent, Stranger Things with the whole Eleven stuff, so maybe that's a factor? 🤷

Best I can gather, Jason Blum, who produced it, had big success with another recent more-thriller-than-horror remake, The Invisible Man, and is just mining what he thinks will work. I mean, if you say it "out-loud," the notion of a young girl who can light things on fire with her mind and is being hunted by a secret government org with only her psychic / telekinetic parents - who participated in experiments themselves - to keep her safe does sound cool. Regardless, it does star Zac Efron, who plays the father to the young pyrokinetic girl. I can't tell you if it's any good since reviews aren't out, but my guess from the trailer is it's competent if not exactly groundbreaking. Luckily if you're only partially curious it's playing on Peacock alongside a theatrical release.

Vibe: the modern day version of an 80's Stephen King story that definitely inspired Stranger Things

Out Friday
Watch Theaters & Peacock
The Trailer | 2 hrs 6 mins | R | 🍅: TBD

SENIOR YEAR

Rebel Wilson falls (literally) into a coma during her senior year of high school. She wakes up 20 years later and decides she is going to finish out her secondary education whether the (also) adults around her like it or not.

It's as if Billy Madison, 13 Going on 30 (but like, reversed) and every 90's / early 00's teen comedy had a baby. Which would be weird, because movies can't have babies.

And yet, here we are.

Vibe: at the risk of repeating myself, it's as if Billy Madison, 13 Going on 30...

Out Friday
Watch Netflix
The Trailer | 1 hr 51 mins | R | 🍅: TBD

(called out from top, left to right)

It's question day in the Trailers! section. Where each trailer will be announced by a series of queries.

Do you think they had to hold back any CGI upgrades in the upcoming Avatar: The Way of Water so it didn't look too different than the 2009 original? How much do you think this sequel will make? As much as the first one? Should you ever bet against James Cameron?

Do you think Adam Sandler likes basketball? How good do you think he is? Do you think he ever takes off his gigantic shorts?

Do you think David Cronenberg's latest movie will usher in an era of body-modification fetishization? Or will it just make a lot of people throw up? Both?

What's In Theaters +

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