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Jun 15, 2022

"TBD"

PINNED: this newsletter started as a way to highlight movies coming to theaters (see: the name). Then, "the bullshit" happened. And I started featuring movies in theaters, VOD or streaming (see: the +). Point is, if there's a movie worth checking out, you'll probably find it here.

Too many movies this week so I'm going to refrain from writing anymore, but there is a good unwritten blurb about movie titles hidden somewhere in my brain.

Maybe next week?

Until then...

Extra Credit Movies:

Brian and Charles is about a man who invents his best friend, in part by using a dishwasher. Looks quirky and kinda delightful. Reviews say it (mostly) is. Playing in LIMITED THEATERS this Friday.

Netflix looks like they spent a bunch of money on Spiderhead, which is a bummer that all its ideas about a group of inmates (including Jurnee Smollett-Bell and Miles Teller) being experimented on by an (overly?) handsome scientist (Chris Hemsworth) didn't seem to pan out. So say critics at least. Streaming on NETFLIX this Friday.

Jerry and Marge Go Large is the ultimate wish fulfillment for the boomer crowd. And is actual fulfillment for the real life couple, who figured out a lottery loophole, the movie is based on. No reviews yet. Streaming on PARAMOUNT + this Friday

This Father of the Bride remake starring Andy Garcia and Gloria Estefan apparently isn't as bad as you might've guessed it would be. Streaming on HBO MAX this Thursday.

Penelopé Cruz and Antonia Banderas together again in Official Competition, a really fun looking satire where a famous director (Cruz) pits two actors (including Banderas) against each other in her movie produced by a rich financier. Playing in LIMITED THEATERS this Thursday.

LIGHTYEAR

Expectations are a real bitch. You do something nice, whether it's pull an all-nighter for a work project, or prepare your partner a succulent breakfast (editor's note: succulent??) and then all of a sudden, the recipient expects more of that good thing. Bummer dude.

After a good deed, shouldn't you be able to like, I dunno, slack off for minute? Maybe you can get leeway in the above scenarios, but movie going audiences - i.e. us - are an unforgiving bunch. But Pixar, the studio responsible for this "movie within a movie," did this to themselves. They've made way too many extremely good movies and now we almost take it for granted their cinematic babies will be soul crushingly poignant, a visual delight and hilarious all at once (ya know, save for the Cars franchise). You might expect me to be leading into some really negative shit about Lightyear. But in fact, I am not. The reviews are actually pretty darn good. It's just that, they're not amazing. But again, Pixar has made some of the best movies of the past 27 years, so the frame of reference is skewed.

But stepping back for a sec, I noted this is a movie within a movie - specifically it is the movie that Andy from the original Toy Story would have watched that then made him want to buy the doll version of Buzz Lightyear. Caught up? Excellent. It certainly helps explain why they switched voice actors from Tim Allen to Chris Evans. And critics say that Evans fits what the film is going for, which is a straightforward action hero vibe, if one that is decidedly 2022 - in part because his best friend / partner is a gay Black woman. There's even a kiss between two woman, which in how it should be, is not made out to be a big in the movie (even if it's kind of a big deal outside the movie, since it's a first for a Pixar / Disney animated movie and apparently almost didn't make it in). It's also very 2022 in its "graphics," which look pretty fuckin' fantastic, and far more advanced than what we would've actually seen in 1995.

I'd say this feels like the movie equivalent of that person you know who when people ask you about them, all you can respond with is, "They're nice. They're just so... *struggles for words* nice."

Note: you might be wondering why this movie got a theatrical release while Pixar's last two, Luca / Turning Red, did not. And I don't have a good answer for you, but you can surmise it's in large part because Buzz Lightyear is coming from such a well known franchise.

Vibe: plain ol' nice

Out Friday
Watch Theaters
The Trailer | 1 hr 40 mins | PG | 🍅: 81%

CHA CHA REAL SMOOTH

Movies that are written, directed and starring a dude (usually white) "trying to figure things out" in the indie-movie world are... not in short supply. What are, are good ones. Turns out, Cooper Raiffe has made two so far. Critics loved his talk heavy first movie, Shithouse, which came out in 2020 and involved a college freshman "figuring out" how to deal with the opposite sex and his overall identity.

The "figuring out" here still appears to involve a lot of the where's-my-place-in-the-world vibe, but sees a slightly older Raiff, post college (though this isn't intended as a sequel), attend Bar/Bat-mitzvahs as a party-starter - which is where he meets a young mother named Domino (Dakota Johnson) and her autistic daughter Lola (Vanessa Burghardt). He engenders himself to both, and eventually becomes involved in their lives, potentially wanting to become even more involved.

I hate to make the comparison, but it almost looks like a modern version of Zach Braff's Garden State. Which, hold on for a second. Because while I know it became trendy to hate on it, that movie had more slobber on it was in theaters than when Charles Grodin shot Beethoven. And I don't mean to make a direct comparison, just that both may capture a moment-in-time of this never-aging (literally) genre.

Sure, you may find the lead character a bit too twee or archetypal here, but these are movies we're dealing with. And for what it's worth, the vast majority of reviews say Raiff is able to thread that line of earnest self-reflection without dipping too much into the ego pool. But when one writes, directs and stars, I imagine it's almost impossible not too at least a little bit. 🤷‍♂️

Vibe: life is hard, but just maybe, we can figure it out together

Out Friday
Watch Apple TV + / Limited Theaters
The Trailer | 1 hr 47 mins | R | 🍅: 91%

GOOD LUCK TO YOU
LEO GRANDE

Metaphorically, America is one big prune. Er, prude. Although, we are getting older too, so yeah, a prune works just as well. And one might hope that in our elder age, we finally address some of our internalized fears. Specifically the ones involving our puritan values. Because as a country, we are a bit shy, shame-y and overall shook when we talk about sex in too great of detail. We can watch Tom Cruise and Kelly McGillis sensually touch tongues all night, but forced to mention what you're into in the bedroom? Ooooh noooo spank you*.

But luckily, Good Luck to You Leo Grande is here to help yours and mine shed our sexual discomfort, by watching Emma Thompson and Daryl McCormack shed their clothes. And talk. A lot. Mostly talk, but some clothes shedding too! Eventually.

See, Thompson is a retired woman who recently lost her husband, and is looking to explore her sexuality in far greater detail than she has before. Good for her. So as one does, she hires a sex worker to help her along her inevitably at times awkward journey. But it's mostly awkward because she hasn't taken her own desires seriously before (or more likely, they weren't taken seriously by her husband), which is a drag. But watching this movie very likely won't be for you, as critics are very high on it, saying it's witty - I mean, it stars Thompson, of course it is - and emotionally affecting as the two leads go back and forth, sometimes trading words, sometimes exchanging power, and yes, eventually, *whispers* sex.

*Oooor spank you?

Vibe: the kind of sex we should all be having - the kind with lots of communication

Out   Friday
Watch   Hulu
The Trailer | 1 hr 37 mins | R | 🍅: 95%

(called out from top, left to right)

Let's play some Jeopardy! shall we?

Reminder: all answers must be submitted in the form of a question.

1) Dakota Johnson riding that Bridgerton wave and playing Anne in a movie version of this Jane Austen novel

2) A one word movie from the director of Get Out

3) Singer Harry Styles plays a British police offer in a difficult romantic triangle *Double Jeopardy!*

4) A singing, and heavily makeup'd, Emma Thompson plays this Roald Dahl character's torturer

5) It took him over a decade, but he's back in his famous footwear (note: not on the playlist due to age restrictions)

What's In Theaters +

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