The last real newsletter

Jun 22, 2022

"I'm just one stomach flu
away from my goal weight."

PINNED: this newsletter started as a way to highlight movies coming to theaters (see: the name). Then, "the bullshit" happened. And I started featuring movies in theaters, VOD or streaming (see: the +). Point is, if there's a movie worth checking out, you'll probably find it here.

There's this recent I dunno, obsession?, with the idea of "the last real movie star(s)." It's generally applied to male actors and most often to Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt.

See: this NY Times article about Tom Cruise literally titled, "Hollywood's Last Real Movie Star," or this recent GQ profile on Brad Pitt where Quentin Tarantino says of Pitt "He’s one of the last remaining big-screen movie stars. It’s just a different breed of man. And frankly, I don’t think you can describe exactly what that is because it’s like describing starshine."

And while I'm not going to debate the star"ness" of Cruise and Pitt - as they are pretty much the epitome of what one would describe as a movie star - I will take some umbrage with the idea that they're "the last." Or rather, dissect that a bit more. As always, there are too many angles and points to discuss, so I'll center in one idea here, which is change.

A slight deviation first - I had a discussion a while back with friends about this idea that there are benefits to a collective consciousness of "the few" in media. As in there were so many less movies, TV shows, albums let's say 30+ years ago, that people more often watched and listened to the same things. E.g. back in 1983 when M*A*S*H* ended, over 100 million people watched it (over 60% of all US households!), at the same time. That will almost surely never happen again, especially not synchronously. And thus "the youths" and people going forward will not understand what it's like to have a common pop culture language. Which is probably true!

But I bumped a bit on this idea that this shift is a net negative and posited that while there are some benefits to cultural homogeneity, there are also tons of, and ultimately far more, upsides to increased variety. First and foremost the fact that more stories are being told and by people with different experiences. So not only can someone who never saw themselves on screen before, now do so, someone who never saw a person "like that" on screen can also do so, and potentially empathize with an experience different than theirs.

Which brings us back to Cruise and Pitt. I loved Top Gun: Maverick and am glad it made a ton of money. It deserved to. I also hope Bullet Train, Pitt's next, is good, because I enjoy him and his acting too. But holding onto the fact we all should look up at the same person on the screen just doesn't hit for me. And I know people will say it's not about "should," just that there is change going on and they're merely pointing it out. But I'd argue there's a lot of nostalgia being inserted into that "observation." Does a 15 year old feel the same way about Tom Cruise? Probably not. It's because people have lived with certain people in their lives for so long that you feel wistful when your teen idols are approaching 60, then add the fact there are all these people running around that you've never heard of. Hell, Ethan Hawke, 51 himself, just produced a docuseries about Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward titled... "The Last Movie Stars."

I guess what I'm ultimately getting at is, maybe the landscape is just shifting so that everyone will have their own movie stars and at some point, to them, they will be "the last," unbeknownst to everyone else. Because in everyone else's minds, their "lasts" are lone gone, or just getting started.

Note: you have some solid, and diverse, options this week if you're tryin' to go to the theater.

Extra Credit Movies:

Flux Gourmet is about um, sonic mastication? Maybe I should just say it's the next from Peter Strickland who also helmed The Duke of Burgundy and In Fabric. Lots of positive reviews, but it's definitely for specific tastes. Playing in LIMITED THEATERS and STREAMING this Friday.

Apples are tasty and also the name of a Greek movie about a worldwide pandemic (not that one) where people have amnesia and have to restart their life. Critics like it lots, saying it does a good at being darkly funny and thoughtful at the same time. Playing in LIMITED THEATERS this Friday.

Olga is a Ukranian movie about gymnast who is exiled during the 2013 people's revolt. Lots of love in reviews here too (100% RT score actually). Playing in LIMITED THEATERS this Friday and STREAMING in late August.

ELVIS

Elvis director Baz Lurhmann does not do small. Or medium. Or large. Or even... you get the point. His two levels are basically "more" and "the most." It's served him very well over the years, as he was actually able to get 16 year olds to care about a story that was written in the 16th century (🙋‍♂️ hi), made a movie with an exclamation point in it's title that not only escaped mockery, but enhanced its earnest love story, and he even gave Leonardo DiCaprio, a man known for meme-able movie moments, some of his most memorable.

So while this is an Elvis Presley biopic, it's best to think of this as a Baz Lurhmann Elvis Presley biopic, and all that comes attached with that notion. You'll see Elvis (played by Austin Butler) thrust his hips not just once, but over and over and over again in a scene. You won't see your screen split into halves, but in to sixths. You'll see cuts faster than you can spell the word. You'll see the gaudiest WB logo you'll ever see and you'll see Tom Hanks as Elvis' "puppeteer" played into almost comical villainy.

But you will also see Elvis.

And that's due to what is being described as a very good, faithful and honoring performance by Butler. Critics almost unanimously laud him, even as many lament his performance being smothered by Lurhmann's direction. But maybe even more interesting is that Presley's family loved it. With ex-wife Priscilla, daughter Lisa Marie and granddaughter Riley Keough all praising the movie quite vehemently.

So if you're into Elvis, you should strongly consider a watch. But maybe just ask how much Elvis you want?

Vibe: 💫 🎸 🥳 🥃 🎊 ELVIS!!!!!!! ⭐️ 🍾 🎉 🎤 💊

Out Friday
Watch In Theaters
The Trailer | 2 hrs 39 mins | PG-13 | 🍅: 83%

THE BLACK PHONE

If you grew up in the 70s or 80s (probably even the 90's) it's likely you had a conception of "stranger danger." The idea that some person (man) was going to entice you into their van with candy and then cut to, really bad shit. While the realities of that happening are far less common than perception, it still makes for a potentially good horror movie. Thus we have The Black Phone.

But premise is one thing, execution is everything, so it helps to have people who've been here before. And producer Jason Blum, via his production company Blumhouse, has been here many many times before. Blumhouse is responsible for much of the cinematic horror output over the past 15 years, starting with Paranormal Activity in 2007. Blum has already teamed with Black Phone director Scott Derrickson and star Ethan Hawke on Sinister back in 2012.

Most of the movies produced by Blumhouse are small budget but "high concept." As in there is an easy to grasp hook. A child abduction is a start, but needs more, thus we have a black phone. Which is not just a telephone, but a way for abductee Finney (Mason Thames) to communicate with past victims - supernaturally. It also helps, mostly for marketing, to have Ethan Hawke wearing creepy masks much of the movie. It also just helps to have Hawke, who is a damn good actor.

But all this is idea stuff, how does it all come together? Well, reviews say it's actually one of the better horror movies in a while, mostly because the team does a solid job of creating a sense of place. Critics note the setting of a grungy late 70's Denver - where Finney is beat up at school and abused by his alcoholic father, with only his sister to turn to - makes everything even more menacing, but also allows for growth in the characters. And builds on the feeling that many kids have, of being alone in the world, because adults don't respect or listen to you, or sometimes, want to hurt you, literally. 😳

Vibe: adults: you're on your own kid / sibling: I got you!

Out Friday
Watch In Theaters
The Trailer | 1 hr 42 mins | R | 🍅: 86%

MARCEL THE SHELL
WITH SHOES ON

What if you could strip away all your pretense, remove all the ideas about the world you've metaphorically piled high onto your back over the years, and (finally) place your emotions and feelings in front of your thoughts for once?

You'd probably end up quite a bit like Marcel.

Marcel is, as you might've gathered from the title, a 🐚, but through another lens he is a (slowly) walking, talking, aching heart. Our teeny friend first appeared over ten years ago on YouTube in a mockumentary style short film, and then in two more escapades over the course of four subsequent years. And here we are eight years on from his last endeavor with a whole ninety minute movie. Big jump! Especially for Marcel. But the reemergence of the adorable character voiced by Jenny Slate (you know her from stuff and things) probably couldn't have come at a better time. Because even if in many ways the world is in a better place than it ever has been, it most certainly doesn't feel like in many other ways.

Cue: Marcel

The googly-eyed fella will likely help you escape from your issues, even as you see, he has many of his own - namely his missing family, aging grandmother (voiced by Isabella Rossellini) and newfound fame. It's just that his approach to his troubles is so endearing, you'll probably come away wanting to emulate it while hugging the shoes right off him (but please don't, you'd crush him!).

Our sea born friend has even accomplished the very difficult task of winning over 100% of reviewers (so far), a notoriously cynical bunch. Or maybe they just needed someone to help them brush that weight off their shoulders. Someone, like Marcel*.

*they just might have to wait a while, he's so tiny it'll take forever!

Vibe: optimistic innocence, and jokes!

Out Friday
Watch In Theaters
The Trailer | 1 hr 29 mins | PG| 🍅: 100%

(called out from top, left to right)

A teaser trailer for a movie about Marilyn Monroe deserves its own feature, right?

I mean, after all, she was the last true movie star.

Check out the rest, including a (legit!) creepy looking horror movie about smiling, another trailer for the rom-com Bros and a singing crocodile.

Until next time, see later!

🐊

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