Weekend of July 15, 2022 BETA

Jul 13, 2022

PINNED: this newsletter started as a way to highlight movies coming to theaters (see: the name). Then, "the bullshit" happened. And I started featuring movies in theaters, VOD or streaming (see: the +). Point is, if there's a movie worth checking out, you'll probably find it here.

Based on the movies I'm featuring this week - basically a bunch with bad reviews 😬 - it feels like a good time to remind you of a few basics here at WIT +.

Let me start with my overall MO. I say it in a bunch of places, but the goal here is to make you feel like you're hearing about movies from a friend who knows what's coming out and has done a bit of reading into it. I probably write more than I originally intended, but at least I hope it's enjoyable to read. I like to pretend we're metaphorically chillin' around a fire and you say something like "have you heard about...?" and I excitedly reply "Why yes, I have. It's...."

Which movies do I feature and why? So my thought here is that I want to make sure and feature all the "national" releases coming out in theaters. Basically the ones you'll see marketing for and be able to see pretty much anywhere in the country. I also will highlight "notable" limited releases - usually well reviewed ones. Because even if you can't watch them right away because you don't live where they're playing, you'll know about them when they become rentable at home. And as noted in the PINNED section, since "the bullshit" I added streaming releases. With streaming I kind of make the same evaluation, but since it's not a national / limited situation, mostly go with, "what are most people going to care about? And can I bring up something good they might've missed otherwise?"

Lastly, what I write are not reviews. ....?!?! As in, I have not seen all the movies I'm writing about (or all of them, at least before they're released). Scandal, I know. If you thought I had been, that's ok. But you also probably think I have way more time (and access) than I do. So how am I able to talk about the movies if I haven't seen them? Well, I read, and watch. A lot. I read reviews and any other material I can (i.e. interviews, featurettes, all the trailers, clips). Basically, I do my research. I worked at a studio (Paramount) for close to a decade, and for a large part of that I was tracking every (theatrical) release that came out as a part of my job, so I'm acutely aware of how movies are presented and talked about as they're being released. I've also personally watched quite a few movies. Less them some, but more than many.

I'm happy to answer any questions if you're curious, but I imagine that covers most of it. Oh! The Extra Credit Movies section is something I've been doing for a while, but never explained either. It's basically so I can feature some movies you may see come out that don't necessitate a full feature, but I think it's worth having a sense of. More often than not they'll be streaming movies with middling reviews.

Programming Notes:

Netflix's next big action movie The Gray Man starring Ryan Gosling and Chris Evans (and directed by the Russo Brothers) is out in limited theaters this weekend, but starts streaming on the platform next week. I'm going to hold off on a full feature until then. But forewarning, I've seen a few early reactions and they are not great.

The adorable looking Marcel the Shell With Shoes On expands nationwide this weekend.

Extra Credit Movies:

Don't Make Me Go. I love me some John Cho. Don't know why, he just kinda rules. He stars in a dramedy where he and his daughter take a road-trip as he deals with a terminal disease. It has some reviews, but they're not great. But also not terrible either. Cho gets some love, and overall people seem to want to like the movie, but many of those same people also kinda hated the ending. Streaming on PRIME this Friday.

PERSUASION

Jane Austen will never die. I do mean in the hearts of her readers of course. Cuz her physical form has been kaput for well over two hundred years now.  But her ideas and stories have endured and probably will as long as people keep pining for each other. Which means this isn't the first, and very likely won't be the last, adaptation of Austen's final novel. Whiiiiich to the latter, is probably a good thing, because critics were left like many of Austen's characters are, longing.

Whereas another contemporary Austen adaptation Emma, starring Anya Taylor-Joy, was lauded for being able to split the difference between modern styling and authentic reverence to its source material, this Dakota Johnson starrer is being called out for being a bit - to use modern language they might have considered slipping into the movie - thirsty. Structurally it's the same story as the novel it's based on, but there are apparently numerous anachronistic choices, from the dialect to the romantic comedy cliches befitting our modern era, that seemed to annoy reviewers.

It's not that these things inherently don't work, as the show Dickinson has shown over the past few years with inserting very present-day features (see: a tatted up Wiz Khalifa as Death). And while Dakota Johnson's acting is well liked, the overall is apparently too many pieces from other things (see: Fleabag, Bridgerton), but not enough of its own thing. I imagine it's not offensively bad, so if you literally can't get enough of 19th century love stories, all of this might read like a bunch of hooey. And if that's the case YDY.

A "better" option: the aforementioned Emma was quite enjoyable, and while not based on a classic novel, the recent and clearly Austen influenced Mr. Malcom's List might satisfy.

Vibe: TBD

Out   Friday
Watch   On Netflix
The Trailer | 1 hr 47 mins | PG | 🍅: 37%

PAWS OF FURY:
THE LEGEND OF HANK

In today's edition of "I mean that's probably a bad idea, but.... oh, ok, you're going to do it anyway? Yeah sure, go right ahead," we have Paws of Fury: The Legend of Hank - originally titled Blazing Samurai - an animated movie the filmmakers decided should be based off the Mel Brooks comedy classic, you guessed it (did you?), Blazing Saddles.

I've actually never seen Saddles in its entirety (yeah yeah yeah), but I have seen enough clips to know you can't actually take much from that movie and still get a PG rating. And turns out, they didn't, except the basic notion of an unwanted "sheriff" coming to help save a town. But in this case, replace sheriff with a bumbling "samurai." But that's plot stuff, and that doesn't seem like the main objective here. The focus appears to be on fart jokes, some more fart jokes, a fat cat in a tiny sumo outfit (mawashi), training montages and uh, more fart jokes? Reviews aren't good, but some critics give it a pass since the people watching are still learning to wipe their own butts, while others say instead of sending up cultural stereotypes like its forebearer, its laziness around them, specifically Asian stereotypes, is downright offensive.

A "better" option: the og goofy martial arts animated movie, Kung Fu Panda (one, two or three). Or how about last week's stellar-reviewed The Sea Beast on Netflix?

Vibe: second hand, in more ways than one

Out Friday
Watch In Theaters
The Trailer | 1 hr 37 mins | PG | 🍅: 57%

WHERE THE CRAWDADS SING

It's based on a book! (oh aren't they all) But not just any book, one of the best-selling books of all time. See, it says so right here. And it did it in such a short time - the novel was released a mere four years ago. So surely the filmmakers wouldn't dare screw it up. Would they? Well....

Let me back up. The Crawdads story (both book and movie) centers on a young woman who grew up alone, living in the marshes of 1950's / 60's North Carolina, where the locals dub her - pejoratively - "marsh girl." Her life not hard enough already she becomes accused of murdering one of the men she's been romantically involved with.

The appeal is fairly obvious. A sympathetic character who, in spite of challenges, like being abandoned by her family as a young girl, and outside pressures, is able to maintain her self-reliance. While both iterations have been critiqued for simplifying certain aspects (namely race and gender stereotypes), the movie is being nagged on for more. Mostly for being a bit bland and boring. It's produced by Reese Witherspoon's production / media company Hello Sunshine, whose bookclub also featured it in 2019, and it just feels like a movie Witherspoon would want to make (she's from the south, has played a lot of independent minded characters). And while Daisy Edger-Jones (from Hulu's Normal People) reportedly does well in the lead role, it's hard to overcome what the NY Times describes "as if a Tennessee Williams play had been sent to Nicholas Sparks for a rewrite." Ouch.

A "better" option: Eve's Bayou, starring Samuel L Jackson and Jurnee Smollett. It has that southern feel and pulls off a compelling and complex thriller story quite well.

Vibe: the lush Spanish moss,

Out   Friday
Watch   In Theaters
The Trailer | 2 hrs 5 mins | PG-13 | 🍅: 37%

MRS. HARRIS GOES TO PARIS

If you've ever watched the Met Gala and gazed upon Rihanna in some fabulous outfit among the plethora of other fancy people wearing ridonkulously fancy clothing and thought, "wouldn't that be fun??" This movie is probably for you. Because wish-fulfillment is what you seek and wish-fulfillment is what you shall get. Although in this case, it'll be Mrs. Harris' and not yours, so you'll have to live vicariously. Sorry, but Ms. Fenty will have to wait.

But to see even one "commoner" win means we all do, right? Don't answer, that's rhetorical. And it doesn't matter, because apparently after watching Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris, you'll have that belief no matter what temperature of your cold independent heart. In large part because of Mrs. Harris herself - Lesley Manville. While Manville has history with couture in movies, her role as the harsh sister in 2017's Phantom Thread is much the opposite to the character she takes on here. A long time (but only recently confirmed) 1950's war-widow who cleans for the monetarily endowed that becomes besotted with a Christian Dior dress owned by one of her clients. After she comes into possession of a few more quid than normal, she decides she's going to buy one for herself, gosh darn it. And for that, she must travel to Paris. Naturally.

The particulars from here are not particularly unexpected - initially snobby staff, longer than expected dress making time, burgeoning relationships - but they are apparently quite enjoyable. Reviews have been emphatic in their love for Manville and her overall effect on the story, which critics tout for being solid enough to allow the cast to do the most necessary work - to make you believe.

And it's worth noting that while another foreigner has been traveling to Paris in the world of media recently, Mrs. Harris only makes those around her better with her sunny-can-do-attitude. Plus, she avoids the obvious faux-pas that is trying to fit in.

Note: Dior participated in the making of the movie, helping the designers recreate the outfits that would've come out when the movie is set.

Vibe: as cute and charming as the rhyming in its title

Out   Friday
Watch   In (Limited) Theaters
The Trailer | 1 hr 59 mins | PG| 🍅: 93%

(called out from top, left to right)

I often like to challenge myself within this section to use as few as words possible to describe the latest trailers. This week I'm only allowing myself the number of words in the movie title to describe the movie itself.

Tell me how I did?

Bodies Bodies Bodies - hit the floor?

Day Shift - vampires, snoop

Honk for Jesus. Save Your Soul. - mega-church mockumentary come back story

Fall - don't

Luck - none

What's In Theaters +

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