July 29, 2022 BETA

Jul 28, 2022

"Disturbing the peace?
I got thrown out of a window!
What’s the fucking charge for getting pushed
out of a moving car, huh? Jaywalking?!
This is bullshit!"

PINNED: this newsletter started as a way to highlight movies coming to theaters (see: the name). Then, "the bullshit" happened. And I started featuring movies in theaters, VOD or streaming (see: the +). Point is, if there's a movie worth checking out, you'll probably find it here.

"Hollywood" doesn't have a monopoly on people who try and associate themselves with something that's become successful, but people here are almost preternaturally good at it. Take the recent example of Top Gun: Maverick. While I've seen the usual "I'm so happy to have played just a tiny part in the success of the movie, I couldn't be more proud..." blah blah blah type posts on LinkedIn, that's not what I'm talking about. Even if it is a bit yucky sometimes. And look, I get it, in an industry where you never know what's going to be a hit, you gotta take your wins I guess? Plus, #brandyourself

But there was a recent example which was just too good not to call out. A couple weeks ago, Vulture ran an article with the headline "Sony Pictures is Eating Hollywood's Lunch" which, first off, lol. Second off, lol. But whatever, we've seen these plenty of times before, it's a pitched piece where Sony gets to be fluffed a little bit by the press and two of their executives get quotes out there. That's not the important part here. The important part is when the execs (one of whom used to be my boss' boss) kinda sorta, ok totally took a decent chunk of credit for Top Gun: Maverick doing as well as it did in theaters. One of them said, "'When we first started releasing movies last October, there were really no other big movies. Everyone had pushed their big movies to this year, to this summer,' Greenstein says. 'We took a big gamble putting Venom in theaters.'"

And then the other said, "In a weird way, I would say Top Gun is benefitting from us taking our shot. Venom is the start of that story."

...........

I mean, fine, having worked in the industry for a while I at least understand the mindset and the situation they were in. "The bullshit" has been tough on everyone. It's created a very tenuous situation around pretty much everything, especially theatrical moviegoing. But come on. The idea that there hadn't been any other big movies before Venom 2 is just wrong. There was *checks previous newsletters* A Quiet Place 2, Fast and the Furious 9, Free Guy, Jungle Cruise, Shang-Chi, and even if it was a week after Venom, Bond was right in there. So yeah, that does not check out.

But that's me getting sidetracked, we're talking about credit housing here. The odd part is why they even care. Sony's Spider-Man: No Way Home is the sixth highest grossing movie of all time and has made $600 million more than Maverick. You have the biggest 🍆! Who gives a shit! And yet, the caring still occurs. I guess it's because it's an industry where narrative matters in more ways than one? So when Top Gun starts getting all the love for "bringing people back to the multiplexes," when clearly people already were back as shown by Spider-Man and a bunch of other pretty darn successful outings, other people get a bit rankled?

But worst of all, it's one of those situations where if you try and rebuff the notion, someone could just say, "well how do you know, huh? How do you know Venom isn't responsible." It's true, I don't know. But it's impossible to confirm it in the positive either. We can't run simulaneous time loops and see what would've happened if say Sony sold Venom 2 to a streaming service (like they did what a bunch of their other movies). So instead, we just get to sit in this kiddie pool of uncertainty where everybody gets to say whatever they want.

And even I'm a little late to this - the article was published a couple weeks ago - I still think it's worth highlighting (read: calling out) yet another quirk of an extremely quirky industry.

Note: Sure to be Oscars bound Everything Everywhere All at Once is back in theaters across much of the country this weekend. So if you haven't had a chance to check out what is many people's favorite movie of the year so far, now's your chance. You can also watch it home, but come on, theaters are better. Just like conditioner. Right swan?

Extra Credit Movies:

Sharp Stick. Lena Dunham directed another movie, but unlike her debut in 2010, it's getting a little less love. Reviews are like a 50/50 situation. Limited theaters this Friday and streaming August 16th.

DC LEAGUE OF SUPER-PETS

I made a similar quip when one of the trailers for this one came out, but it almost seems redundant to say "super" before pets. Because if you're an animal owner of some sort, whether it be dog, cat, turtle or the ever-trendy emu, you know they're kind of inherently super. Not because of some awesome ability - unless you call eating poop an awesome ability (editor's note: I mean, maybe?!) - but because they're, well, not human. They don't have any of our humanistic baggage. Plus, they're just so cuddly wuddly with those cute widdle paws and those... *ahem* Right. Carrying on.

So it tracks that watching a story where they literally save humanity is one bow-tied metaphor for what they do on a daily basis, "I didn't rescue her, she, rescued me." 🤮 But that's reading too much into this one. This is more of a hey, let's do the superhero thing, but with less weight. Reviews say it works for the most part, with a solid voice cast (The Rock, Kevin Hart, Kate McKinnion, Keanu Reeves and more) supplying solid enough support to a solid enough story. So don't over think it. If you think it seems like a fun idea (although it's not a new one, the pets were comics way back in the 50's), you'll likely enjoy.

Just don't bother to try and get your cat to watch it when it comes to VOD, because they don't give a shit. They're a cat. And that's enough.

Vibe: the exact opposite of the Snyder-verse

Out Friday
Watch In Theaters
The Trailer | 1 hr 46 mins | PG | 🍅: 75%

VENGEANCE

You might think you know exactly what this movie is going to be when you watch the trailer. Kinda smarmy dude from NY goes to middle of nowhere Texas - for a funeral for a girl who was just a "hookup" to him but her family believes he was her bf, and also that maybe she was murdered - and he thinks he "knows" these people, even though he doesn't, so he decides to make a podcast about them. But aw gee shucks, of course he's gonna learn *shock* they're real people too, not just some Texas stereotype! And you'd probably be right. But you'd also probably be wrong. At the same time. Contradictions! Multitudes! Just like... people?

Turns out B.J. Novak, who was a writer / actor / director / producer of a television show that is almost certainly playing on a TV somewhere in the world at all times (The Office) has accomplished the difficult task of making a compellingly complex movie on his first go round as a feature movie director.

Reviews say that just when you think you've pinned the movie down, similar to how Novak's character Ben thinks he's classified those around him, something happens to circumvent your expectations. And in what might be one of the biggest surprises, Ashton Kutcher is getting legit love for his turn as a record producer who has the job of explaining some of the movie's core themes of questioning what we think we know and how things are sometimes a matter of perspective. But he's definitely not the only one in the cast. Critics say Boyd Holbrook as the conspiracy focused brother splits the middle between caricature and actual person, plus there's Issa Rae as the out for Novak's podcast pitches.

So if you watch, you'll likely get some of what you expect, but solid chance some of what you won't. Doesn't sound like a terrible deal to me.

Vibe: exactly what you think it is, and isn't

Out Friday
Watch Theaters
The Trailer | 1 hr 47 mins | R | 🍅: 84%

RESURRECTION

A few weeks ago, I highlighted the moody and unnerving looking Watcher, which was about an ex-pat who starts being stalked and has to convince herself and those around her of what's happening. While Resurrection looks to be a much different movie, more psychological and apparently quite messed up, it deals with the similar notion of women being terrorized. Or in the case here, been terrorized.

But here there's also no question for Rebecca Hall, who plays the lead, of what happened. Because she's been metaphorically, and literally, running from the events for nearly two decades. She portrays a woman who seemingly has everything under control. Like, everything. Including her teenage daughter, who is about to go off to college, where her mother will have far less control of her. But her daughter isn't the issue. It's someone, a man, from her past who she hasn't seen in two decades that is responsible for the chaos. The man is played by Tim Roth and his reappearance sets off calamity in the previously structured domain that is Hall's life.

Reviews, even the ones who don't recommend it on the overall, are extremely praiseworthy of Hall's performance. They almost all specifically call out a nearly ten minute monologue which in many other instances, wouldn't work, but because Hall is so damn good, it does. And while most critics feel the movie holds together, even as the tumult increases to extremely high levels at times, there are a few who were lost in the maelstrom.

So it's bound to be a somewhat splitting movie, for opinions and probably some heads too. 😅 But at least now you know.

Note: while this is playing in limited theaters this Friday, it already starts streaming next week so be on the lookout if you're interested.

Vibe: controlled chaos

Out   Friday
Watch  (Limited) Theaters
The Trailer | 1 hr 44 mins | R | 🍅: 83%

(called out from top, left to right)

So. Many. Trailers. #ThxComicCon

Black Panther - Wakanda Forever - first footage. Expect the feels.

Don't Worry Darling - second trailer for the second movie directed by Olivia Wilde. Looks bonkers (in a good way)

Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves - pretty self explanatory! Not sure if there will be any demogorgons though....

Pearl - prequel to titillating horror-comedy X (they shot them one right after another apparently)

Black Adam - trailer from comic-con for The Rock's anti-hero turn

Shazam! Fury of the Gods - sequel to the not necessarily surprise, but somewhat?, superhero hit

Me Time - choo choo, the Kevin Hart train is coming back round

John Wick Chapter 4 - also Comic-Con footage. expect more fighting!

Tár - Cate Blanchett portrays the lauded composer / conductor

What's In Theaters +

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