In This Week’s Edition: more movies than would be helpful to list here
Movie Quote of the Week 🎬 💬
“It's too early. I never eat December snowflakes.
hint: the shortest, but maybe the most adorable, movie I’ve ever pulled a quote from
THINK THOUGHTS 💭
Coming at you a bit late this week. For reasons I shall expand upon at a later date.
But speaking of expanding, the number of movies coming out this week is practically exponential (i.e. there are a lot). So I’m going to do what I’ve done in years past and list the movies with a short blurb instead of the normal plus sized overview. It’s not ideal, but better than your eyes glazing over after my 5th attempt at a snappy intro.
I’m thinking I might re-address some after the holiday glut just to make sure some of the more interesting looking films get addressed properly.
But Happy Holidays, hug the fam, enjoy some time off if you got it and as always, thanks for reading.
❤️
NEWSY BITS 👾
Warner Bros. Discovery, Paramount Global in Merger Talks (Full Article): not exactly unexpected if you’re watching the media world closely, but it would still be a big deal (if it happens). And if you’re wondering what they’re gonna call the streaming service, fellow writer and great thinker M.G. Siegler had a pretty good idea, “Please, *please* just grace us with the name ‘Warner Bros. Discovery Max with Paramount+ and SHOWTIME’” Honestly, I wouldn’t put it past ‘em. - The Washington Post
EXTRA CREDIT MOVIE(S) 📝
Memory - a very adult (not that kind) looking drama where two “broken” people - Jessica Chastain and Peter Skarsgård - come together and make their worlds a little better. The reviews are really darn good. Playing in Limited Theaters Friday
Freud’s Last Session - Sigmund Freud (Anthony Hopkins) and The Chronicles of Narnia author C.S. Lewis (Matthew Goode) have themselves a fun little(?) debate. The reviews say it’s well acted if staid. Playing in Limited Theaters Friday
NOTABLE NEW RELEASES 🎟 & 📺
I understand this looks ridiculous. And it is. How are you even supposed to discern which movie is which from these nine movie screenshots? But all I’m looking to do at this point is give you a head start, toss some kindling into your brain for that moment when you and the family ultimately have to decide which movie you want to watch, allowing you to go “wait, I think I read something about that one…”
Maestro: Bradley Cooper writes, directs, and stars alongside Carey Mulligan in a biopic on the conductor & composer Leonard Bernstein (Cooper) that homes in on his relationship with his wife Felicia Montealegre (Mulligan). Netflix | Out Now | 2 hrs 9 mins | R | 🍅: 80%
The Color Purple: an adaptation of the Broadway musical / book that retells the story of Celie as she tries to escape her difficult circumstances in the early 1900’s. Stars American Idol winner Fantasia as Celie as well as Taraji P. Henson and Halle Bailey (The Little Mermaid). Theaters | Out Xmas Day | 2 hrs 9 mins | PG-13 | 🍅: 89%
Rebel Moon: Part One - A Child of Fire - not in fact a Fall Out Boy song1, but actually what looks like a poor (see reviews) attempt at a Star Wars movie from writer, director Zach Snyder (The Justice League, 300). Netflix | Out Now | 2 hrs 13 mins | PG-13 | 🍅: 24%
Poor Things: the next movie from Yorgos Lanthimos who also wrote / directed The Lobster and The Favourite, about a woman (Emma Stone) who is brought back to life and has to relearn how to live by trying everything, including lots of sex (ok, and other stuff too). Theaters | Out Now | 2 hrs 21 mins | R | 🍅: 92%
The Iron Claw: yes, that is Zac Efron and yes, his chin is different. I encourage you to move on because apparently this movie about the famous (and tragic) Von Erich wrestling family is quite good. Also stars Jeremy Allen White from The Bear. Theaters | Out Friday | 2 hrs 10 mins | R | 🍅: 88%
The Zone of Interest: likely the most difficult watch of the lot and yet probably the most “important.” Some might even say the best (see reviews). Follows the every day life of the family of the commandant of Auschwitz. Limited Theaters | Out Friday | 1 hr 46 mins | PG-13 | 🍅: 92%
Anyone But You: hot bods, hot goss, but ultimately it looks like a fairly lukewarm rom-com starring Glen Powell (Top Gun: Maverick) and Sydney Sweeney (Euphoria / White Lotus). Theaters | Out Friday | 1 hr 40 mins | R | 🍅: 57%
Migration: the Despicable Me / Minions folks made a family-bird movie, a bird-family movie? Whatever it is, it’s the only option for kiddos. Theaters | Out Friday | 1 hr 32 mins | PG | 🍅: 74%
Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom: Aquaman returns, just in time for the entire universe he’s in to cease existing. But if you’re into Jason Momoa, I bet he takes his shirt off. Theaters | Out Friday | 2 hrs 4 mins | PG-13 | 🍅: 39%
TRAILERS! ⏯ “Let the movie speak for itself…”
The American Society of Magical Negroes - *silence*
IF - *silence*
Spaceman - *silence*
Origin - *silence*
Love Lies Bleeding - *silence*
in you’re unaware, they are notorious for writing stupidly (awesomely?) long song titles