How much money, is too much money?

Umm, can we answer n/a?

THE QUOTE 🎬 💬

“You never wanted to be anybody's girlfriend,

and now you're someone's wife.”

hint: if anyone is the “bad guy” in this movie, it’s him

THINK THOUGHTS 💭

You. have. got. to. be. kiddddinngggg. me.

NEWSY BITS 👾

Studio Pulls ‘Megalopolis’ Trailer Featuring Fake Review Quotes - Lionsgate tried to create a narrative in the trailer that Francis Ford Coppola’s classic films were critiqued heavily, just as Megalopolis has been. Except they made up some of the quotes (which sere supposedly from famous publications). Oops. I can say pulling a trailer is an extreme measure for a studio. Especially considering the copies have already proliferated across YouTube. Oof, someone is having a bad week. - New York Times

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EXTRA CREDIT MOVIE(S) 📝

Strange Darling - a woman has a one night stand with a serial killer. Things progress from there. The reviews are almost fanatic in their praise, saying it’s one of the best of the year and the less you know the way better. Playing in Limited Theaters Friday

Incoming - I guess Netflix thought Project X could use a more light-hearted sequel? Ooor they think the dearth of R-rated comedies is a unique business opportunity. Alas, reviews say nothing about the quality of this high school hijinks-fest, per the usual with The Flix. Streaming on Netflix Friday

The Killer - John Woo is back w/ a remake of his 1989 Chow Yun-Fat action classic. And so are the doves (read: pigeons). 🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️ The reviews say it could use even more doves. Jk, there aren’t any critics’ takes yet. Streaming in Peacock Friday

Greedy People - coupla dummy small-town cops get themselves caught up in a dumb plot to score some quick catch after one of them accidentally kills a lady. The reviews say it’s kind of like Coen Brothers light w/ Joseph Gordon-Levitt as a standout. Playing in Limited Theaters Friday

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NOTABLE NEW RELEASE(S) 🎟 & 📺

The Crow

If you’re a kid of the 90’s, there’s a solid chance you either watched The Crow at some sleepover when the parents were zonked out (you cheeky monkey, you knew it was rated R!) or heard about it over the lunch table. It was a well liked when it came out and is still considered a bastion of 90’s vibes, but the death of star Brandon Lee (Bruce Lee’s son) on set from an improperly loaded gun, kind of seared the movie into our tiny child brains.

I think this heavy imprint is partly why some people have had such a strong reaction when they learned about this new take - which is actually based on the original comic book rather than a straight remake. It’s almost as if the 1993 version was this drug and bits of it were latent in the bloodstream and the news of this “update” somehow trigged it to hit again. Because, people have had some… tough reactions to the trailers, usually with some toss off comment of “they’ll never replace Brandon Lee!”

Which is true, “they” won’t and couldn’t. But many of these comments feel they’re less about the original movie than just some nostalgic wall that got erected when they felt something might be infringing upon their memories. And sure, it’s possible they could not end up liking this take from director Rupert Sanders (Snow White and the Hunstman) which stars Bill Skarsgård and FKA Twigs. But they’ll have to actually watch the damn thing to know that.

I’m actually a little closer to this one than normal as a good friend of mine produced it (congrats Malcom!). And while I haven’t seen it, I do have some sense of the work that went into it. Like nearly all movies, it sounds like it was a shit-ton. Industry term of course.

What I do know is that the emphasis of this version is much more on the love story than the original, which actually featured very little of that aspect, interesting for a revenge story which uses that as its emotional base.

Skasgård is best known as Pennywise from IT, but he’s donned a different batch of makeup here and clearly committed to the part, because that guy is jacked. Which should hopefully help him slaughter a bunch of henchman on his way to save his beloved’s soul. How sweet. 🖤

Out: Friday

Where: Theaters

Details: 1 hr 51 mins | R | 🍅: TBD

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Blink Twice

I feel like there’s a decent set of people who would talk trash about not going with a billionaire to their private island if asked, yet when presented with the reality, might see the moral high ground crumbling under their feet.

I mean, I get it, one could be anxious Built Bezos would ply them with steroids (legal note: I have no idea if Jeff Bezos actually takes steroids) or Mark Zuckerberg would offer them a dozen pounds of his smoked meats. But the curiosity is gonna win out for most of us - what do billionaire’s do on their islands? Are there scores of butlers? Pet monkeys in speedos? Are the toilets just normal toilets??!

If you made it that the billionaire looks and generally acts like Channing Tatum, I mean come on, pretty sure nearly everyone is saying yes at that point.

Which helps one understand why Naomi Ackie’s character Frida, along with her friend (Alia Hawkat), would hop on a plane with a relative stranger (Channing Tatum as the man with the big bucks) and willingly give up their phones.

As a viewer we already know things are going to turn weird, and maybe Frida did too. But she had to see it. The island. The wealth. The toilets?

Unfortunately for her and others who also opted into this adventure, it does indeed start getting batshit as we all thought it might. But per reviews, it doesn’t get so off-kilter that it’s going to approach anything David Lynch might confuse your brain with (though Special Agent Dale Cooper himself, Kyle MacCalachlan does his best apparently).

It’s seem to be more commentary than wtf-fest with critics noting that while not all of the ideas first time director Zoë Kravitz presents succeed, she does well enough that it makes for an entertaining enough trip.

Plus, she got a fianceé out of it.

Out: Friday

Where: Theaters

Details: 1 hr 34 mins | R | 🍅: 79%

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THE WEEKLY TRAILER PLAYLIST ⏯

Y2K - a combo of Superbad and Maximum Overdrive (you don’t know what Maximum Overdrive is?? rectify that shit immediately)

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The Piano Lesson - an epic looking cinematic version of August Wilson’s play (he also wrote Fences and Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom, which have also been turned into movies in the past few years).

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Wildwood - a little tease for the next LAIKA feature (Coraline, ParaNorman)

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The Room Next Door - the first feature-length English language film from lauded Spanish director Pedro Almodóvar. Though from the trailer, you wouldn’t have known that since there isn’t much speaking.

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