Motley Crew, it's no longer just a band name đ¸
In This Week's Edition: quirky characters on quip filled quests
THE QUOTE đŹ đŹ
âI⌠am the best goddamn dancer in the American Ballet Academy.â
Who the hell are you? Nobody!â
hint: Iâve been told by my former professional dancer partner the dancing in this movie is legit, even if the acting is⌠less so
THINK THOUGHTS đ
Itâs kind of funny, all three featured movies this week have one big commonality. They create a pretense to bring together a bunch of characters that each have a discernible personality trait or two that will help the audiences identify them and then huck âem all into a situation where violent mayhem can ensue.
Itâs not a new concept, not even close. But itâs an enduring one, and kinda shows that when you get great actors to say good lines and give them enough stuff to do, the overall plot doesnât need to be anything special.
Except one of the three is likely to show that if the plot is so bland, it can hinder everything else. đŹ
Itâs kind of a fun contrast because just last week we had the vastly different Civil War, which coincidentally which made a loooot more money than really anyone expected. I do want to dig into that and try and suss out why it seemed to be the only thing bringing together liberals and conservatives since the hate for pop-up ads with tiny barely visible fuckinâ Xâs that you inevitable click incorrectly thus bringing you to some sketchy website, but thatâs going to have to wait a week.
In the interim you can be entertained by handsome actors who will make you forget about the possibility of an actual civil war for a couple hours.
NEWSY BITS đž
Henry Cavill James Bond Trailer Gets 2.3M Views Despite Being An AI Fake (full article): there are plenty of fake trailers that get millions of views, so this isnât new. What is new is the use of AI to create something resembling a legit trailer. Also, Cavill will very likely not be Bond. Because Aaron Taylor-Johnson will. Reportedly. - The Hollywood Reporter
A New Home for Sundance? Festival Organizers Say Itâs Possible. (full article): âA 13-year contract with Park City, Utah, is set to expire in 2026 and the film festival is beginning a review process to see if it should move.â But where are all the movie execs gonna go skiiiingggggg - The New York Times
EXTRA CREDIT MOVIE(S) đ
We Grown Now - a charming look at two young friends, both Black and growing up in public housing. The reviews are quite affectionate and talk about a movie thatâs not only pretty too look at but holds a POV that conveys the rich perspective of the coming-of-age children at its center. Playing in Limited Theaters Friday
Spy X Family Code: White - another anime movie you probably donât know about. Unless you do. And if you do, the (limited) great reviews should be welcome news. Playing in Theaters Friday
Hundreds of Beavers - hard to explain except to say itâs a black and white indie in the style of a cartoon / Charlie Chaplin movie where a guy is battling, yup, hundreds of beavers and reviews and fans are saying it might be the funniest flick of the year? You can decide for yourself because itâs now available to rent. Streaming in Theaters Now
NOTABLE NEW RELEASES đ & đş
The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare
Guy Ritchie has a thing with âgentlemenâ if not gentle men.
Three of his projects in the past five years have involved that term in some fashion and yet the cranks at the center of these efforts often act the exact opposite of how a gentleman âshould,â by definition.
Although this time the ragtag - if still incredibly well dressed - roster of characters he assembled is decidedly, and purposefully, ungentlemanly. So I guess that means theyâre allowed, even encouraged, to kill evil Nazi bastards with reckless abandon? I hope so, because thatâs exactly what theyâre going to do.
But thatâs ok, because we hate Nazis. But what we do seem to like as a society is watching impossibly pretty and fit actors (led by Henry Cavill trying his darnedest to âlet looseâ as well as Reacherâs Alan Ritchson, Magic Mikeâs Alex Pettyfer, Crazy Rich Asianâs Henry Golding and Baby Driverâs Eiza Gonzalez) delivering perfectly scripted witticisms as they off Hitlerâs finest with aplomb.
And who cares if itâs not gonna be quite as stylish as Ritchieâs early efforts Snatch and Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, right? âŚâŚ.. âŚ.right??! Ok fine. You might care. Because I agree with the implicit opinion conveyed by your silence, Ritchieâs movies have started to look a bit, if not formulaic, expected. But reviewers have been quite kind here, saying the director can still pull together a coherent violent-off with the best of them. Well maybe not the best of them, because there were plenty of critics who compared this to Quentin Tarantinoâs Inglorious Basterds to denote whatâs the height of this sub-genre. But close. And close is good enough in horseshoes, hand grenades and mental distractions that allow us to just chill the fuck out for two hours.
Out: Friday
Where: Theaters
Details: 2 hrs | R | đ : 80%
Abigail
They say children can suck the life right out of you, but uh, this shitâs taking it quite literally. Although, question! Is a vampire still technically a child if their body is the only thing denoting their purported âyouth?â Honestly, donât worry about it, it doesnât really matter. Because no matter the age, the titular Abigail will still rip your throat out if given the chance.
Which may be bad for the (second in as many movie overviews) motley crew of perfectly scripted personalities - including Melissa Berrera from recent Scream reboots, Dan Stevens from Downton Abbey and Godzilla x Kong and Kathryn Newton from the Ant-Man movies and Freaky as well as the recently passed Angus Cloud known for Euphoria - but really quite good for you, the viewer. Because a gang of charming if morally questionable criminals are apparently pretty fun to watch when theyâre under the threat of death by bloodletting.
Is that all youâre going to get? Loads of quips and orchestrated demises? I mean, yeah, pretty much sounds like it! But the directors behind it all, Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett aka Radio Silence, have pretty good pedigree in their first big movie Ready or Not (a similar one house chase fest) and the last two Scream movies.
But no, this isnât going to be the scariest movie of the year or the saddest, or even probably the funniest. But it should still be quite a bit of fun depending on what youâre into. Or more likely, what youâre prepped for.
And you, my friend should be prepped for a god damn demon childlike being who dances whilst she kills. Because apparently thatâs very in these days.
Out: Friday
Where: Theaters
Details: 1 hr 49 mins | R | đ : 82%
Rebel Moon - Part Two: The Scargiver
Whenever thereâs a hyphen and a colon in a movie title you know itâs going to be⌠something.
And based on all accounts, Part One of this Zack Snyder (director of 300, Man of Steel, The Justice League) imagined Star Wars cast-off was indeed something⌠to avoid. Iâm sorry to be harsh, but there was very little positive to be said about it, from critics or fans. Which is somewhat abnormal because Snyder often has at least a subset of ardent defenders. And while Iâm sure they exist somewhere, they were quite hard to find and apparently not in the places Iâve been hanging out. Aka the internet.
So if youâre a completist and you saw the first movie, I guess hereâs your chance to scratch that mental itch. OtherwiseâŚ? đ¤ˇââď¸
But hey! Who knows, maybe the dude was holding all the good stuff for the second act. Itâs about as likely as me entering the NBA draft and getting picked #1 by the Lakers, but itâs technically possible.
Out: Friday
Where: Netflix
Details: 2 hrs 3 mins | PG-13 | đ : TBD
TRAILERS! âŻ
Young Woman and the Sea - Iâm unsure if this Daisy Ridley movie about a woman in the 1920âs who sets out to swim across the English Channel benefits or is hurt by last yearâs (Oscar nominated) other swimming movie, Nyad (which starred Annette Bening and Jodie Foster if you forgot). Although Young Woman seems to be targeted more at young women than Netflixâs more adult focused effort though.
Longlegs - this horror movie starring Maika Monroe and Nic Cage keeps dropping awesomely weird âteasers,â that as a fan and marketer, Iâm very into.
I Used to Be Funny - you probably donât know who Rachel Sennott is, but if you do, youâre probably gonna be into this (hint: sheâs in a group of well liked indie movies like Shiva Baby, Bottoms and Bodies Bodies Bodies).
IF - a âfinalâ trailer usually means the studio thinks its movie is gonna make a lot of money, or not nearly enough. Iâm a big Ryan Reynolds fan (did you know?) so Iâm hoping for the former.