The box office is a tired sweepy-peepy. š“
Go ahead, take a nap you wittle sweepy-peepy. You've earned it.
THE QUOTE š¬ š¬
āHe does not know what I lack, or how I am incomplete.
He sees me for what I am, as I am.ā
hint: might be the only movie to feature beastiality and win an Academy Award
THINK THOUGHTS š
This is one of the quietest periods in theatrical movie releases. Itās basically this and the couple weeks after New Years where studios are like, meh, people donāt care to watch movies right now. I mean, theyāre not necessarily right, but institutionalized beliefs are had to change.
There is technically a āwide releaseā (read: in enough theaters nationwide, roughly 2K, that most people could watch if they want to), but itās not likely to make enough money to ābeatā Deadpool & Wolverine or Alien: Romulus.
I was going to talk about a topic Iāve avoided bringing up so far because really quite silly in many ways - this extremely odd deluge of negative internet trash content focused on Blake Lively after her recent movie opened (and did extremely well!). But Iām gonna have to avoid for one week longer.
Honestly, itās not that interesting, but Iāve become too invested. Does it mean I spend too much on (in?) the internet? Yah, definitely. But as 2Pac said about judgingā¦
NEWSY BITS š¾
āMegalopolisā Trailerās Fake Critic Quotes Were AI-Generated, Lionsgate Drops Marketing Consultant Responsible For Snafu - whelp, I guess we figured out who was having a bad day. - Variety
Paramount Global Closes Door on āGo-Shopā Period as Edgar Bronfman Jr. Drops Last-Minute Bid for Studio - the drama is over. for now. - Variety
Apple Rethinks Its Movie Strategy After a String of Misses - I already mentioned this when the second trailer for Wolfs (the Brad Pitt / George Clooney Apple TV movie) dropped a couple weeks back, but when the NYT mentions, it does mean itās reached an extra level of ānotable-nessā - New York Times
EXTRA CREDIT MOVIE(S) š
1992 - Tyrese Gibson in a non Fast and Furious role. Wow. Even bigger wow that the reviews are actually pretty darn positive for a movie set amongst the riots post-Rodney King verdict. With (admittedly limited) critics saying that while it ultimately comes down to a heist movie, it does well at it. Playing in Limited Theaters Friday
The Deliverance - a exorcism movie from Lee Daniels, creator of the TV show Empire and director of the movie Precious. Yes, I too am surprised itās not titled Lee Danielsā The Deliverance. Jjjjjjjk. The reviews say itās pretty standard-issue devil being a massive a-hole stuff, but thatās never stopped people from liking a horror movie before. Streaming on Netflix Friday
Slingshot - Casey Affleck acting exactly like Casey Affleck in a somber looking lower budget sci-fi where he partners up with Laurence Fishburn toā¦ slingshot around a planet? Indeed. The reviews arenāt great, but it doesnāt seem like a total miss, just more of an āeh, not for everybody / coulda been better.ā Playing in Limited Theaters Friday
NOTABLE NEW RELEASE(S) š & šŗ
Afraid
Lest you think every piece of media is required by law to make every sentient mechanical being evil just to create drama, I present a counter argument ā Data. No, not a bunch of numbers, but this guyā¦er, thing (creature?) from Star Trek: The Next Generation.
Whatever he is, was or will be, thereās one thing he is not. And that, is evil. Unless he gets taken over by some alien being or something, but then heās really just acting evil, because inside, Data is still Data. Just a guyā¦ thing, trying to be a little bit more human.
But as weāve progressed closer to Data-like beings becoming a reality (I said closer, not close) there seems to be this strong focus on the evil āpartā of artificial intelligence. In that it inevitably has to, or will want to rip our boney limbs from our fleshy bodies.
One can understand the fear. I mean, weāre a species that used to think a solar eclipse meant the sun was literally dying (and even after we learned that wasnāt the case, we still have dopes who look directly at the damn thing without proper glasses). We didnāt know that of course, we just assumed it because um, well, weāre kinda smartly stupid. Without full information we decide we can just make it up. Sometimes helpful, often catastrophic.
Ok, weāve gone 1,263 characters and weāve yet to talk about the actual movie. I mean, thatās fair, but itās also not that important. Because even if you go see Afraid, sorry, AfrAId (editorās note: Iām embarrassed for you for even typing that), youāre probably not going to remember it in two months, let alone two years.
And honestly, thatās ok. John Cho and Katherine Waterston are handsomely fine distractions who will act well as parents who work to protect their children from what some Disney Channel watchers might call a direct rip off of Smart House.
I would just strongly encourage you, if you do watch the movie, to remember that just because artificial intelligence is some scary murder bot in most modern media, whether with "eyesā or dancing-dolls, it doesnāt mean it necessarily will be in reality. Because we donāt know that yet.
And maybe if think more like Data - logical, yet always striving to be more human - weāll end up with someone just like him.
Wouldnāt that be nice.
Apologies Data, would not that be nice.
Out: Friday
Where: Theaters
Details: 1 hr 24 mins | PG-13 | š : TBD
THE WEEKLY TRAILER PLAYLIST āÆ
Super/Man: The Christopher Reeves Story - a bit hagiographic looking, but not the worst thing in the world to feel inspired.
The Lord of the Rings: The War of Rohirrim - itās animated. And it has all the epic battles, creatures and rings youāre expecting.
Exhibiting Forgiveness - yes, the title sounds a little drab, but donāt let that stop you from watching the trailer. The story about an artist dealing with the memories of his absentee father who returns looks like it contains multitudes of life without becoming melodramatic. Reviews seem to back that up.
Sonic the Hedgehog 3 - Shadow Sonic cometh.
Frankie Freako - !!!!!!!!! what an absolute delightfully looking sack of weird. From the makers of Psycho Gorman. Maybe based on this from the 80ās???