The good ol' US of Aaaawww, crap
In This Week's Edition: a Texan and Cali team up (only in the movies my friends, only in the movies... 🤠 🏄) and the hairiest family this side of Tom Selleck's chest.
THE QUOTE 🎬 💬
“Face it, girls, I'm older and I have more insurance.”
hint: one of few movies with food in the title that’s in reference to the actual food
THINK THOUGHTS 💭
It was nearly three in the morning when I saw it. It was gorgeous and beautiful, like nothing I’d ever seen, creating a sort of wondrous haze on everything around it. It was the first total eclipse I’d experienced.
Wait… 3am? Pacific time??
Oh, right. I forgot to clarify. I wasn’t out gazing up at the earth’s one and only natural satellite forcing its way between us and our life-giver the sun. I was watching the movie Dolores Claiborne.
Unbeknownst to me, I had set myself up for a perfect themed movie night (morning)? See, a few months ago I came across the trailer for Dolores Claiborne - the adaptation of the Stephen King novel about a woman played by (the fucking awesome) Kathy Bates who is accused of offing her employer, as well as her husband many years prior - when writing an edition of this newsletter. For some reason it stood with me and I kept the trailer tab up for waaaay too long as a reminder (anyone who knows me: “typical”), but finally got around to renting the DVD from the Alamo Drafthouse last week. Renting?? Yup, renting. Alamo has a sort of movie library where you can check out, for free, any DVD they have. Which is a lot. But just like the library (well, some of them), they have late fees. And my precious copy of Dolores was due back the following day, so I started the 2 hour and 11 minute journey at a bit after midnight. And honestly? It was totally worth it.
Sure I was tired the next day, but I really enjoyed the (definitely 90’s) movie and the fact I had stumbled upon this awesome coincidence made the viewing experience that much more delightful. And it’s one I wouldn’t have had if not for the physicality of that DVD and the pressure to return it. Because I’m sure Dolores Claiborne is on a streaming service or as a VOD rental option somewhere. But I wouldn’t know because I never even looked. I kind of like creating pressure to watch a movie sometimes, a sort of fake ephemeralness.
I mean, it’s a bit of a stretch, but it’s not unlike the eclipse itself. If it happened every month or so, people would like, meh, no big deal (although yes, to be fair, you’d be seeing it every month, but hopefully you get the point).
I’m not saying I’m only going to be watching movies via DVD (though seeing the intro videos is a fun nostalgic bit “Coming soon to DVD!”), but every once and a while it’s a nice push.
A nice bonus of the whole experience? It reminded me that I needed to find a spot to watch the actual eclipse. And what better place than somewhere a non-planner like myself could cop some glasses last minute than a real life library, of course. 📚
NEWSY BITS 👾
Margot Robbie to Produce ‘Monopoly’ Movie for Lionsgate and Hasbro (full article): I mean, I knew there’d be a push to movie-a-tize other popular toy properties after the success of Barbie, I just didn’t know the person behind that movie would be tapped to do it. I mean, if it worked once…? (context: Robbie produced Barbie beyond just starring in) - The Wrap
OpenAI Unveils A.I. Technology That Recreates Human Voices (full article): pictures, video and now, audio - New York Times
EXTRA CREDIT MOVIE(S) 📝
Sasquatch Sunset - the most high profile movie to feature a sasquatch since Harry and the Hendersons. And even though this doesn’t seem to have any humans (well, besides the actors playing said sasquatches, which include: Riley Keough and Jesse Eisenberg) it’s still about a big ol’ family trying to love each other. Well, that and apparently a lot of scat play. ???!!! Question marks indeed! But the reviews say while it is quite specific in its *ahem* tastes, it’s a delightfully weird movie for people who vibe with it and might even bring up some of those sasquatch tears. Playing in Limited Theaters Friday
Arcadian - Nic Cage won’t stop making weird little indie movies that get good reviews? Then fine, I won’t stop featuring them. Because even if dystopian / monster movies are plentiful, good ones are not. Playing in Limited Theaters Friday
NOTABLE NEW RELEASES 🎟 & 📺
Civil War
If A24 had asked me what to title their new movie from Ex Machina and Annihilation director Alex Garland, I would’ve gone with the stylings of The United States. Buuuuut, they didn’t ask me… so we got Civil War. Which is direct and without equivocation, and (ok, fine) maybe serves this movie better since its whole ethos looks to be “look at the results, not the intentions.”
As in, this isn’t a movie that’s looking to pick “sides” in the sense one might think it could or should. Instead it simply tracks towards what some see as the logical end of our heated political sensibilities and general opinion having in these (for the moment) united states. And to allow for it’s top down view, it focuses on wartime journalists (Kirsten Dunst, Wagner Moura, Cailee Spaeny, Stephen Henderson) who act as the viewers’ conduit to all the madness. It almost feels like the movie version of one of those NPR promos where they have someone talk about the importance of journalism and journalists as they ask for donations. Except instead of some sympathetic voice you’ll get brutal killings, nihilistic snipers and unflinching dictators.
This sort of passionate dispassion has worked for most reviewers, but earned Civil War a few rebukes from critics who believe it has nothing to say because of its lack of direct critiques (don’t be shocked if you never learned who or what started the conflict). But it seems the lack of opinion is its opinion. Sort of implicitly saying, “all those positions you’re so right about?” Well look what your certainly will earn you. A gun pointed at your head.
Maybe. Because no one really knows what the future of this country holds. But movies are often a reflection of fears and / or desires from a moment in time. And at this point in the history of the country, infighting amongst its citizens seems to be a strong worry for some.
So if this is you, maybe Civil War can act as a sort of catharsis, like horror movies do for those sick folk who like that sorta stuff (read: me). Or maybe it’ll just make you believe we’re headed in this direction no matter what.
Although, with that attitude, we just might be, eh?
🙃
Out: Friday
Where: Theaters
Details: 1 hr 49 mins | R | 🍅: 89%
TRAILERS! ⏯
MaXXXine - the finale in the trilogy that started with X (and continued with prequel Pearl), from director Ti West and star Mia Goth. This will be a follow up to X for those who’ve seen it.
Babes - everyone loves a double entendre title, right? Turns out literally everyone loves Babes (so far) too - a movie where Ilana from Broad City gets pregnant after a one night stand and needs her (also recent mother) best friend to help her.
Joker: Folie à Deux - I mean, Fall Out Boy is great, but to name a sequel to your unexpectedly massive (and massively controversial) Joker movie after their 2008 hit album? I mean, that’s just a level of fandom I never expected from director Todd Phillips.
Janet Planet - parents are humans just like the rest of us. Foibles and all. Some kids learn this early. Some kids learn this later. This looks like a movie about the former.
Speak No Evil - James McAvoy gets to play an evil maniacal bastard in this vacation to fucksville.
Fly to the Moon - it’s got the stars, it’s got the charm, it’s got the shiny production, but does it have a compelling story? I don’t know. It’s like a comedy about selling the space race, but also a rom-com, but also a satire about people believing the US thought about faking the moon landing??