There Will Be Poop Jokes
There Will Be Poop Jokes
But also insightful commentary!
āYou give up your dreamā¦ you die.ā
Have you been on the internet lately? Have you seen the thing itās doing (note: yes, I understand the internet isnāt a sentient being, but go with me here) with the upcoming releases of Barbie and Oppenheimer? Itās making them into a full on meme-ified event called āBarbenheimerā - because they both open the same weekend. Sure, it may sound like a german shave brand, but the options were fairly limited (is Oppenbarb any betterā¦?).
Beyond the silliness of it all, and boy is it getting silly, it also kind of gets at the notion of competition within Hollywood. Studios will often see their fellow movie makers as competitors, and while this is technically true, I think Barbenheimer is going to be a good example of why theyāre not. Not really. The whole reason itās become a āthingā is that people are stoked about both movies and are conflicted which movie theyāre going to see first. Not which movie theyāre going to see period.
When WB (Barbie) and Universal (Oppenheimer) originally scheduled the movies on the same weekend, they probably assumed their audiences were completely different - i.e. women vs dudes - and they felt good about their choices. And then, Barbenheimer happened. Which probably confused them a little, but that doesnāt surprise me. Because studios often assume who their audiences are and target accordingly vs let a movieās audience show themselves and direct their efforts thusly. Iām not going to get too deep into how they segment here (ask me sometime though), but regardless, you now have two movies whose overlapping section of the venn diagram is larger than one mightāve thought.
Or maybe not. Because this is all conjecture until the movies are released and we see the research on who actually went to see which movie. You can imagine the studios were directionally right in their audience profiles, but itāll be fun to see regardless (well, for some of us at least). Because if they overlap more than people suspected, and both movies make good money on opening weekend and beyond, then it may push forward the theory that people donāt always just go see āa movie,ā they see mo-vies. Specifically ones that interest them.
I know, this may sounds like the most basic shit ever (duh, people see movies they want to see) and that Iām cutting it up too much, and while there are of course instances where people just want to see āa movieā and thus have to pick from the current allotment, but when thereās truly interest-driving content out there, Iām here to posit that it doesnāt matter what the ācompetitionā is - people will see what they want to see, including multiple movies. Or at the very lest that the broad interest will be enough that all the movies people are interested in make enough money that studios are mostly satisfied - meaning some people choose A while some people choose B, but enough people just go out to the theaters such that everybody wins.
Hell, Tom Cruise is making the case people should see both Barbie and Oppenheimer (after they see the new Mission: Impossible of course), and heās committing to the bit by buying tickets for both movies opening weekend. While I may not agree with Cruise on other things (although I donāt know fur sure, because Iāve been in the same with him and he oddly never asked my opinion on anything1), I do agree with the implicit case heās making to Hollywood here - get enough people excited to go see movies and enough of them will see one of your movies (as along as you make ones people are interested in of course).
But I honestly donāt have faith studio culture will shift in this kind of thinking, turning into a sort of altruistic letās all help each other mentality. In part because the incentives arenāt there internally and partly because itās hard to test a theory like this (and ego of course). Because itās basically a belief system. Sure, Barbenheimer may make my case, or not, but even if it does then maybe someone else can point to another weekend that possibly refutes it.
I guess Iām just a softy. A softy with a hardcore belief that movies arenāt a zero sum game. šš
And btw, speaking of the new Mission: Impossible - Paramount lifted the review embargo way early (it comes out next Friday), and with good reason; itās getting the best reviews of any movie in the franchise. A franchise which has, incredibly, seen its RT score increase with each new installment (outside of a drop on #2).
Did you find what I just wrote interesting?
Think someone else might? Share this with them!
NEWSY BITS š¾
The Best Films of 2023, So Far [TL;DR Asteroid City \ Showing Up \ Are You There God? Itās Me, Margaret \ Polite Society \ Full Time \ Sanctuary - I have thoughts, but I also like or am interested in a lot of these movies, so Iām cool with it] - New York Times
EXTRA CREDIT MOVIE(S) š
The Out-Laws - Adam DeVine from Workaholics is a bank manager who marries Nina Dobrev and her parents (Pierce Brosnan / Ellen Barkin) are good looking *gasp* bank thieves! Reviews? Pfft, this is a Netflix comedy, nobody needs reviews. Streaming on Netflix This Friday
Earth Mama - a mother tries to rectify her situation with two kids in foster care and one on the way. Reviews are limited, but very positive, saying itās an intimate look at the hardships some (particularly Black) mothers go through to keep their family together. An A24 flick. Playing in Limited Theaters This Friday
The Lesson - a highfalutin thriller because itās set in the world of literature, class and family drama, but not necessarily in execution, as reviews are really quite great, saying Richard E. Grant is especially excellent as he plays opposite Julie Deply and Daryl McCormack who critics say help keep the movie enticing, and tense, most of the way through. Playing in Limited Theaters This Friday
Biosphere - two dudes (Sterling K. Brown / Mark Duplass) who say dude a lot even in the midst of them being the only two people left alive on earth. But while the dude abides, the dudes must evolve. And evolve they will apparently (plot hint). The reviews are saying itās a small movie with big ideas that (mostly) work. Playing in Limited Theaters This Friday
Iām gonna be honest here and say itās not often Iāll tell you a movie coming out contains scenes of people stuffing (multiple!) drug filled condoms up the olā poop chute and at the same time is being lauded for having a strong sense of friendship and heartwarming self-discovery. But itās 2023 and we live in a complex word, so like, ya know, chill with all the trying to put things into boxes stuff. Ok?
And btw, sorry if using the term āpoop chuteā was a little too crass, but being honest again, Iām not really sorry at all because it was a very intentional way to get your reaction to that moniker for an anus which is probably a decent indicator of how youāll respond to this movie as a whole. Did you give a little tee-hee or a hehe when you read it? Dope, strongly consider this movie! Were you like āpoop chute?ā ugh, Latham is such a child. He probably even used the word āanusā unnecessarily just to annoy me (yes, yes I did). Yeah, maaaaybe watch the trailer below and make your assessment.
But while I am a child and this movie is chillinā in the kiddie pool of humor, as alluded to above, reviews are saying this movie has purpose beyond just making you laugh, but itās hard to get to the warm gooey center of a movie if you canāt sift through the poop and sex (jokes) to get there. Yes, that mental image was also intentional. Youāre welcome!
But overall itās nice to see some solid looking broad comedies (see: this and the recent No Hard Feelings) after a long dearth of them. But what also makes this one special is its cast, because itās still noteworthy when a comedy is fully lead by a cast of women (and non-binary folks) and even more so when that same cast is entirely Asian. Combine all that with a bunch of actors who are kinda peaking at the right time, see: Ashley Park (from BEEF and Emily in Paris), Sherry Cola (sickest name ever? and from Freeformās Good Trouble), Stephanie Hsu (Academy Award winning Everything Everywhere All at Once) and Sabrina Wu (newcomer to me and movies, but a standup comic who looks v funny!) and we have a legit conversation piece.
So fine, you were a little (read: a lot) turned off by my scatological humor, but even if you were, I still encourage you to give this one a gander. Because like many of us, Iām sure you could use a good laugh, even if it comes along with a slight gag here and there.
And my people who giggled at poop chuteā¦.? Poop chute, poop chute, poop chute, poop chute, poop chute, poop chute, poop chute, poop chuteā¦ poop chute!2
Out: Friday
Where: Theaters
1 hr 32 mins | R | š : 92%
Friend to friend, writer to reader, this probably isnāt gonna be very āgoodā movie. Ya know, in like, the traditional sense. So why am I giving it a full feature? Weeeeell, when youāre the fifth movie in a franchise, itās fair to say people have been watching your stuff. And as I talk about often (incessantly?), I try3 hard to withhold judgements on the choices people make in their moviegoing and enough people have chosen Insidious movies that I feel obligated to let you know about this one.
But does āgoodā really matter when youāre just trying to get a few heebie-jeebies scared out of you (editorās note: can literally anyone tell me what a heebie or a jeebie is without googling it first? thought so)? Not really. And if you take a gander at the above image, Iāll tell you itās a screenshot from a scene in Insidious: The Red Door where star (and first time director) Patrick Wilson is laying in a MRI machine and has this fine looking fellow crawl in to say hello. š While he could be squeezing in because heās a fellow patient who caught a bit of a chill and thought itād make sense to seek out some body warmth - rather than being some demon creature that wants to eat Wilsonās face skin off - it doesnāt really matter, because thatās creepy too.
But thatās the kind of stuff thatāll be happening here. Sure, you can believe Sonyās marketing that this movie exists to show āthe endā of the familyās story that started with the first Insidious in 2011, but really itās all about the heebs and jeebs. But donāt forget the dollars and the signs either of course.
Out: Friday
Where: Theaters
1 hr 43 mins | PG-13 | š : TBD
Two very intense looking movies and oneā¦ less so.
Killers of the Flower Moon - sure, itās gonna be long, but itās also apparently gonna be really great.
Dune: Part Two - part two, trailer two.
Happiness for Beginners - I mean, it could still be intense!
editorās note: what a fucking name dropper!
poop chuuuuuuuuuuuute
and often fail!