Who wrote that movie? Uh, the computer did.
We're not there yet, but is it possible that someday we watch a movie written entirely by AI? Uh, maybe!
I imagine you might be familiar with the idea (belief?) that if you had infinite monkeys banging away on an infinite number of typewriters over an infinite amount of time, all of the great written works would eventually be output (and lots of the bad ones too). But why use monkeys when you can just ask computers to do it for you?
See, the tech world is going bonkers over a demo of a product currently called ChatGPT, which can deliver a very competent sounding response based on simple or even fairly complex prompts. It was built by a company called OpenAI, who, even if branding is not their strong suit, is doing very well at building things that can spit out “content” based on incredible amounts of data it ingested and then trained on, using complex models I don’t understand - they also released an image generator called DALL-E(2) earlier this year. It’s all very nerdy, if potentially world changing - you can read more into the whole hullabaloo here - but for funsies I decided to see what would happen if I asked it to write a screenplay, specifically I gave it the prompt of writing a comedy movie script.
Without further ado, here is the "The Big Mix-Up"
FADE IN:
INT. COFFEE SHOP - DAY
The bustling coffee shop is filled with the sound of steaming espresso machines and chattering customers. SARA, a young woman in a business suit, stands in line, tapping her foot impatiently.
Suddenly, a man in a suit, JOSH, bumps into her, spilling coffee all over her blouse.
SARA: (irritated) Watch where you're going!
JOSH: (apologetic) I'm so sorry. Let me buy you a new coffee.
Sara reluctantly accepts Josh's offer and they sit down at a table. As they talk, they realize that they have a lot in common.
JOSH: So, what do you do for a living?
SARA: I'm a marketing manager at a big corporation.
JOSH: (surprised) No way! I'm a marketing manager at the same corporation. We must work in the same department.
SARA: (surprised) Really? I've never seen you before.
JOSH: (laughs) That's because I work in the men's department.
SARA: (stunned) Wait, you're a man?
JOSH: (laughs) Yeah, I am. And you're a woman?
SARA: (laughs) Yeah, I am.
They both burst out laughing and realize that they've been mistaken for each other the whole time.
CUT TO:
INT. OFFICE - DAY
Sara and Josh walk into the office and are greeted by their coworkers.
COWORKER: (to Josh) Hey, Sara, I need to talk to you about the new campaign.
SARA: (to coworker) Actually, I'm not Sara. I'm Josh.
COWORKER: (confused) Wait, what?
JOSH: (laughs) Yeah, we had a little mix-up at the coffee shop. But it's all sorted out now. (editor’s note: is it Josh?? IS IT?!)
CUT TO:
INT. OFFICE - LATER
Sara and Josh are sitting at their desks, working on the new campaign. They exchange a smile and continue typing away.
FADE TO BLACK.
“Wait, what?” indeed! While it’s ultimately hilariously confusing, it’s actually really quite impressive that this can be spit out in (literally) a matter of seconds, even if it’s far off from a functioning screenplay. It reads as if someone read every script for every body swap movie ever made and boiled it down to the (very rough) basics - which is kinda what happened.
Turns out humans are still needed to work out the details. At least for a liiiiiittle bit longer.
Notes: Disney screened Avatar: The Way of Water for critics and the reactions (this is a trend where critics can tweet out “reactions,” but have to wait to post full reviews, kinda silly but whatever) and they’re… pretty fuckin’ great. The sequel comes out next week. You know I’ll be talking about it. 😅
The Whale, the movie directed by Darron Aronofsky and being touted as Brendan Fraser’s “comeback” is playing in limited theaters this weekend. Going to do a feature when it expands in a couple weeks.
Extra Credit Movie(s):
Empire of Light - you might think the director of Skyfall, American Beauty and 1917 combined with the acting of Olivia Coleman would get you a great movie, but reviews for the story about love in a rundown cinema in coastal England doesn’t apparently work all that well, even if Coleman is still getting praise (of course she is). Playing in Limited Theaters Friday (and likely staying that way until a VOD release).
There’s a solid chance you’re doing your best DJ Khaled impression as you mutter to yourself “another one??” Albeit in a far more quizzical manner than the loudmouth music producer announces his catchphrase.
But yes, there is indeed another Pinocchio movie coming out, almost exactly three months to the day after Disney released their insipid looking live-action facsimile of their animated classic. But don’t let that fact sway you from considering this as a movie viewing option. Think of it like pizza. Sometimes you get served a limp slice, but do you swear off pizza? Of course not.
Plus our chef here is the master of the macabre, Guillermo Del Toro. And while it’s clearly a marketing ploy to have his name in the title, it also acts as a titular beacon, drawing in those who fear a retread. And while this follows the spine of the original story, it looks to be distinctly its own, taking intentional departures. Most notably in shifting the setting to 1930’s Italy which is dealing with the rise of Mussolini and his brand of fascism.
Which apparently sets the story on a divergent if parallel path to the one you’re used to. One not of a boy looking to be “real,” but of a boy looking to be accepted as he is. And of parents who must learn that children are not copies of themselves to be controlled, but people they must appreciate as individuals.
Reviews say Del Toro and his collaborators have crafted something where you can feel the passion pouring out in both story and the lovingly made stop-motion animation. You can see the general reaction reflected in the Rotten Tomatoes score, but what it doesn’t show you is critics saying over and over how the movie is just pure craft. How Del Toro and team have created something new, yet familiar, dark, but not so bleak as to be inappropriate for its intended audience and something that doesn’t talk down to its younger viewers.
Point of all that is, think this one deserves a looksie.
Out: Friday
Where: Netflix
1 hr 57 mins | PG | 🍅: 97%
Spoiler alert, Spoiler Alert is probably going to make you cry. Assuming you choose to buy a ticket / hit play that is (although the trailer alone might do the trick for the sappier among us). How can I be so sure? Because even hardened reviewers who didn’t recommend the romantic dramedy on the whole said their tear ducts became active near the end. It makes sense though, it is sad when someone dies.
……!!! What??! The movie is literally named as to give away the ending - plus, it’s based on the book of the same name which has the added subtitle, “The Hero Dies.” So hah! *composes himself* *straightens back* Right, people dying, somber stuff.
If we know the ending, I guess the journey to it better be pretty good then eh? And while it’s likely to be an outing lacking in major surprises, it sounds like its the equivalent of nice warm hug. Which makes some sense as the movie was directed by Michael Showalter, who also made The Big Sick. But while it looks to have that movie’s similar “everyday ease” feel to it, it’ll definitely be more weepy. Cuz, ya know…
But even if it’ll want to make you embrace your beloved, some reviews have lamented a few tricks the movie tries to pull off, namely the use of sitcom style interludes (the book’s writer works in TV and talked about how he used it as an escape), that they don’t think worked very well. But most reviews say that when it focuses on the more touching and human parts, it tends to be pretty endearing.
Note: co-written by the man himself, Dan Savage. ……? Who is Dan Savage?? Who is Dan Savage??!! Um. This guy.
Out: Friday
Where: Semi-Limited Theaters
1 hr 57 mins | PG-13 | 🍅: 75%
Sometimes it’s hard to differentiate between the important and the good. Because when a movie is about something important, you generally want it to be good. So it stands that a movie like Emancipation - the story about a real man named Peter, aka “Whipped Peter” from this photo, who went through unimaginable, yet very real misery during the time he was enslaved and on his path to freedom - was getting some Oscar talk, even before anyone had seen it. Take its subject matter, install one of the biggest stars on the planet, Will Smith, as the lead, get directer Antoine Fuqua who, if not known for making the most subtle movies, is generally a respected director (if somewhat still trailing off Training Day) and then top it off with a massive budget “gifted” by Apple, its producer. Yes, this was still the narrative even after the whole to do at the Oscars ceremony where you know who did you know what.
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And yet. Here we are, me writing a description of a movie that may be about an important topic, but at least from a critical perspective, looks to be decidedly unimportant. While it doesn’t seem to do anything incredibly egregious as to taint the goal it’s trying to achieve (although a reported alligator scene may disagree), it doesn’t seem to do anything more than act as statement that really bad stuff happened. By showing that really bad stuff happening.
One notable wrinkle is that the movie itself, as in the the literal moving picture, has been altered so at to make it, not quite black and white, but drained of color. Whether that’s to blunt the more horrific scenes or to act as a metaphor, it’s a bit unclear. But with that in mind, I feel like this review quote probably sums up the general sentiment…
“Emancipation is ultimately a movie that conveys nothing so much as how modern artists re-create images of what slavery felt like, and under what financial circumstances they’re able to do so.” - from the IndieWire review of Emancipation
Out: Now / Friday
Where: Limited Theaters / Apple TV+
2 hrs 12 mins | R | 🍅: 49%
I feel like there’s a lot of death in the trailers this week. Thus, along with a brief description I am going to give each title a Death Score, indicating how likely it is a legit character is gonna go kaput. Starting from Baby Giggles (def no deaths) to Tupac (come on, is he really dead? I.e. you just never know) and ending with Pearly Gates (dead dead dead).
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny - eh, so the fourth wasn’t that great, so what. I’ll always take more. As for deaths, most obvious is Indy himself, and Harrison did advocate for Solo to die, buuuut feel like Indy is different. Then again, he did say no one else should play Jones soooo. Damn it. I’m copping out and going Tupac.
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3. - the end to the James Gunn directed trilogy (we’re not counting the very lackluster Holiday Special). Deaths - someone’s gonna die. Someones gooootta die. Right?? Pearly Gates!
You People - Jonah Hill wants to marry Eddie Murphy’s daughter. Physically, no one’s gonna die, but emotionally… fine fine fine. Baby Giggles
Transformers: Rise of the Beasts - *insert same DJ Khaled joke from above* Can I do this Death Score bit in reference to the whole franchise (of course I can, I made it up)? Cool, I’m going with Pearly Gates.
Champions - Woody Harrelson coaches a team of players with intellectual disabilities. Baby Giggles. So many Baby Giggles.
Alice, Darling - Anna Kendrick is stuck in an abusive relationship, and yet the movie doesn’t look as dreary as that sounds. Pearly Gates! Pearly Gates! (I hope)
Pale Blue Eye - second trailer for the Scott Cooper mood fest that is the murder mystery here. And yes, the Pearliest of the Pearly Gates.