Banned books make great movies.
Especially when their subject matter is as timeless as this one's is.
“You're going to hell.
Three more bangers as far as reviews go in the featured section, and one in the Extra Credit set.
Again, if you’re complaining that there’s nothing good to watch, you ain’t tryin hard enough.
EXTRA CREDIT MOVIE(S) 📝
Clock - women are asked “the question” (one of many) about when, not if, they’re going to have kids waaaaay too much. Ella (played by Dianna Agron from Glee) thought she didn’t want kids, but then the pressure got her questioning her decisions so she goes through an experimental treatment to check on her “clock.” The reviews are actually quite positive, saying it’s a good mix of psychological horror and sci-fi that dissects personal and culture pressures. Streaming Friday on Hulu
Big George Foreman: The Miraculous Story of the Once and Future Heavyweight Champion of the World - yes, that is the official title. Yes it is bonkers. Yes, “Miraculous” implies it’s a bit of a religious play since he was a preacher too. Also, “future heavyweight champion?” 🤨 I mean, the dude made comebacks, but pretty sure he’s not getting in the ring again (keywords: pretty sure.). But if you want to watch a story about “the once” part, here’s your chance. No reviews as of publish. Playing in Theaters Friday
There are some movies that are “coming of age” and then there’s Are You There God? It’s Me, Maragaret., which is based on Judy Blume’s book that, while I’m not sure you can say it invented the genre, can definitely take a big bag of sanitary napkins home for popularizing it. Uh, sanitary napkins? That’s a weird prize and kind of an old term. Depends on who you ask (which era you’re in) and what your needs at the moment are my friend! Because we’re getting in deep with periods, menstrual cycles and bra fittings talk here. Oh, and religion and first crushes and and and… Basically lots of the things one may go through / question as they grow up. And while Are You There God? is one of the big reasons why talking about things like that is much less uncomfortable and frowned upon socially today, it’s still always the first time for any individual going through those things and is bound to be a bit uncomfortable for them. Which may be a big reason why the book has stayed popular, as well as controversial. Because it presents the everyday with an openness that some people find refreshing and others disagreeable. So much so that the book was banned in the 80’s. And while it may be less controversial now, the banning of books has become a thing again1, which makes this adaptation of Blume’s book maybe even more timely than ever. In part because it brings Blume voice back into the conversation.
“I came through the ’80s when book banning was really at its height. And it was terrible. And then libraries and schools began to get policies in place and we saw a falling off of the desire to censor books.”
“Now it is back, it is back much worse – this is in America, it is back so much worse than it was in the 80s. Because it’s become political.”
Beyond that fear, there’s also one faced whenever a beloved story changes mediums, focused on whether the new one honors and holds up to the original. Luckily I can report that there’s an almost unanimous response from critics so far saying Are You There God? handles the material splendidly and modifies it in just the right ways to make it a movie for basically everyone. Which makes sense as the film was written and directed by Kelly Fremon Craig who made the very excellent, and also very coming of age, Edge of Seventeen.
One significant change is that the role of Margaret’s mother, played by Rachel McAdams gets a bit more emphasis. The movie builds out McAdams’ character’s troubles with shifting from being a NYC based artist to Jersey suburbia-bound house mom. Otherwise you’ll be experiencing what you expect, which is eleven year old’s chanting “we must, we must, we must increase our bust” and Margaret deciding whether religion is something she wants vs something someone wants for her (one of the more controversial aspects of the book apparently).
And if you’re worried Blume herself might not approve of this adaptation, worry not, because she’s actually a producer and personally gave the go-ahead after 50 years. Which may make her opinion a bit biased, but she thought the movie “was just beautiful.“
Out: Friday
Where: Theaters
1 hr 45 mins | PG-13 | 🍅: 98%
Do you hate Nazis?
And thus do you love dead Nazis?
Booooy have I got a cinematic experience for you.
Sisu is basically a Finnish version of John Wick, but instead of a dog, it’s stolen gold, and instead of hoards of assassins being offed with more coordination (and tension) than a wedding between two Instafluencers, it’s Hitler loving turd nuggets. In fact, Sisu might even be more brutal than the Keanu Reeves action flicks. Which seems like a questionable assertion, until you watch the trailer.
And while it’s technically Finnish, don’t expect to have to deal with many subtitles as the lead actually says less words than the 380 Reeve’s spoke in John Wick 4 - by about… 380. As in he doesn’t speak at all (well, almost). And everyone else speaks in English (cuz it’s dubbed).
But the language of killing Nazis is kinda universal, no?
Out: Friday
Where: Theaters
1 hr 56 mins | R | 🍅: 96%
It’s Peter Pan. It’s Wendy. Just like the title says. And it’s Disney doing (yet another) live action version of their animated hits, except this one looks to hew closely to the original novelization of J.M. Barrie’s story - of which I was gifted a copy as an adult because I apparently am like Peter Pan except I do age and yet still act like a child? High praise. Moving on!
I’m kind of at a loss to tell you much more because there aren’t any reviews yet and it’s… Peter Pan. You know the deal. What I do want to share is that it was directed by David Lowery who also made the very well liked Pete’s Dragon, another Disney adaptation, that while maybe not as popular, is considered to have made one of the more successful jumps from animation to actual humans (Lowery also directed A Ghost Story and the very cool, but somewhat divisive - for fans, not critics - The Green Knight). And Jude Law gets to jaw it up as Hook, which will give him a chance to mangle up that pretty face of his. Oh! And Black-ish / Grown-ish star Yara Shahidi plays Tinker Bell.
But uh yeah, it’s Peter Pan. 🤷♂️
And btw, if you’re wondering why this one isn’t in theaters and going straight to Disney +, and if it’s that Disney doesn’t think it’s good enough to hold up in theaters, I’m wondering the same thing.
Out: Friday
Where: Disney+
1 hr 46 mins | PG | 🍅: TBD
Ever been at a wedding and thought, “wow, these two should definitely not be getting married”? Right, me neither… 👀 But if you had, would you try and break it up? Like with fistacuffs and stuff? You probably wouldn’t, but how about if it was your sister. And she was in danger!!!? Well yeeEEEeeah, then maybe!
But you probably wouldn’t look nearly as cool as the actors in Polite Society do, which is a bit unfair as they have high wires, fight training and stuntpeople to create what looks like a big mash up of different genres and movies - sort of a combo of Scott Pilgrim / The Matrix / Everything Everywhere All at Once (among others!) where two British-Pakistani sisters who are Muslim fight against cultural pressures and expectations. Quite literally! Ria (played by Priya Kansara) is an aspiring stuntwoman (so meta, no not that one), and her sister is an aspiring artist, but she’s in a funk. Until she gets matched up with some posh chap who’s mother seems like a real villain. Except she is the villain. At least that’s what Ria thinks. So she tries to fight the matriarch in order to rescue her sister from the patriarchy. Woah.
Reviews are nice and upbeat saying while it’s a lot, it’s also original, fun and infectious.
Out: Friday
Where: Limited Theaters
1 hr 43 mins | PG-13 | 🍅: 94%
Mostly standard fair, although trailer number 4 looks like it could be something special.
I mean, it looks good, people keep saying it’s good, will it actually be good? Not that much longer now to find out…
Benoit Blanc’s literary (and much more serious minded) progenitor gets a third movie.
I guess things are still not equal!
Looks almost like a more religious focused (and hornier?) version of Are You There God? starring Eliza Scanlen from HBO’s Sharp Objects. Reviews are out and fantastic.
Not sure they needed a second trailer when the first Fast X trailer was nearly the length of some movies, but ok!
who the fuck bans books? idiots, that’s who