Dear diary, today I read this newsletter...
...and I learned so much and felt joy like never before.
THE QUOTE đŹ đŹ
âSnap out of it!â
hint: probably one of Nic Cageâs more ânormalâ roles
THINK THOUGHTS đ
This is a pre-warning, though not really a âwarningâ at all, that Iâm going to be traveling the next two weeksâgoing to India1 for a wedding (with a 19 hour layover in Tokyo). Never been to either. Stoked.
So while Iâll still be publishing (never missed a week in 8 years, donât plan to now) these next two editions may be a bit abbreviated. I know, youâre so distraught. But somehow I feel like youâll survive.
I would love to hear any tips you have though, so please do email me. Because why else do I write this newsletter than to mine it for travel suggestions. And sure Iâd love for them to be about my upcoming travels, but maybe you also just have some great cleaning tips. Iâd take those too!
NEWSY BITS đž
Female Protagonists Featured in Record Number of Films in 2024, Study Finds - I mean, sad it even has to be a headline, but still yay. âFor the first time in recent history, the percentage of top-grossing films featuring female protagonists equaled the percentage of films with male protagonists.â - Variety
Netflix Opens Restaurant on Las Vegas Strip - theyâve already done a pop-up restaurant in LA, but this will run longer at a year. The food is of course (loosely) themed around their shows and movies. This also tracks with the stores theyâve opened to hock their branded merch. Basically, The Flix is continuing to try and expand outside of just the subscription. - Variety
EXTRA CREDIT MOVIE(S) đ
La Dolce Villa - Netflix just giving everyone that delightfully predictable (some may say trashy) option for when they want the most Valentineâs Day movie to ever Valentineâs Day. At least you have a charming lead in Scott Foley (Felicity). The reviews say⌠pfffft. Come on. You should know by now that this is Netflix and they donât do early reviews (ya know, unless theyâre great). But you donât need âem, you just need to know if youâre ready to say cheeeeese. đ§ Streaming on Netflix
NOTABLE NEW RELEASE(S) đ & đş
Captain America: Brave New World
This is the 35th movie in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, aka the MCU.
I have enjoyed plenty of them and I hope to enjoy more of them in the future. But the real reason I want them to have continued success is so I can say a film franchise has more entries than the age I am (weâre not quite there yet).
And while I know entries doesnât equal years, I think itâs starting to feel like it for many people. The franchise has seemed to hit a bit of a âmiddle age malaise.â
You can attribute that to audience fatigue, overly complicated storytelling, or a lack of focus on the âbig heroesâ that they started with in Thor, Iron Man and the original Captain America. But in reality, re: the latter, those werenât even the biggest Marvel characters. Because some of the most popular characters couldnât be in the MCU (see: Spider-Man, the X-Men, Fantastic Four).
While Spider-Man joined and those movies have been insane successes, the Fantastic Four and X-Men are just preparing to saddle up. The Fantastic Four already have a trailer and Captain America: Brave New World actually acts as the catalyst for the X-Men as the plot revolves around adamantium. If youâre a fucking nerd (like me), youâll know that adamantium is the metal thatâs inside of Wolverineâs body. And sometimes outside when he goes *snikt* with his clawy claws.
But thatâs future stuff, what about Captain America right now? See, thatâs probably part of the problem. Each MCU movie has the trap it can fall into of being a hype-builder for the next MCU movie, such that the movie at hand can suffer. Thatâs partly why The Guardians of the Galaxy movies were so great, they felt very self-contained.
The new Captain America (Anthony Mackie), fka The Falcon, aka Sam Wilson was a support piece for so long, his first solo outing kinda needs to feel extra special to place him in the status with the OGs.
Which brings us to this guy âď¸, Red Hulk. Heâs not âtheâ Hulk, heâs âaâ Hulk. And if you canât tell, heâs played by Harrison Ford (taking over for the late William Hurt). Itâs clearly a big deal to introduce another Hulk, but it also has the potential to overshadow the new Cap. In no small part because Ford is just the damn best.
This could all be a moo point (ya know, it's like a cowâs opinion, it doesnât matter) if the movie just flat out fucking ruled. Alas, the reviews are fair ta middlin at best. Some critics feel it starts to turn the MCU car around towards the right direction, others just canât seem to fund any joy or interest in the political thriller that doesnât really have much to say politically other than âdonât mind control people.â
But itâs still a Marvel movie and people will turn out so I donât think my dream of being âyoungerâ than the MCU is at risk. What is, is whether ânew Capâ gets his own sequel, just like the old Cap did.
Out: Friday
Where: Theaters
Details: 1 hr 58 mins | PG-13 | đ : 51%
Bridget Jones: Mad About The Boy
Raise your hand if you feel like the release of Bridget Jones movies have tracked your life for an unnerving amount of time, acting as markers.
Scratch that, donât raise your hand, because I canât see shit. This is an email after all and the only way I could verify that you were raising your hand is if I was spying on you right now. Which Iâm not. Because I would never⌠đ
Right. Back to it. Bridget Jones. The fumbling bumbling adorable British lass that deals with more heartache and heartbreak than should be fair for one single human. Although she does get to snog her fair share of handsome fellas soooo.
But god damnit if she doesnât dust off the crumpet crumbs and pick herself back up again time and again. Which is great for audiences who have delighted in her adventures to the point the film series has made over $700 million at the box office worldwide.
And thus Ms. Jones makes her triumphant return to⌠Peacock? Yes, Peacock. See, romantic comedies have been deemed âunfitâ by the studio gods heads by and large, so you if you want to catch RenĂŠe Zellweger as the diary toting love seeker one more time, youâll have to sign up for the service that gets mocked by its own talent.
But itâs just another streaming service, it canât be that bad. Right? Right??
Regardless, reviews say itâs worth spending time with Bridget one last time and worth using your seven day free trial (which you can cancel just as quickly as you signed up and still be abel to watch the movie).
Out: Today
Where: Peacock
Details: 1 hr 46 mins | PG | đ : 85%
The Gorge
This is a movie about two people falling in love as they guard âthe door to hell.â
And no, itâs not a documentary about a couple of young secret service officers who found solace in each other whilst trying to distract themselves from the incessant slurps of Diet Coke and inane banter on Fox News as they stood guard outside the door to Trumpâs bedroom during his first term.
Itâs actually two rising Hollywood stars, Anya Taylor-Joy and Miles Teller2, doing a meet cute as they literally stand guard to⌠something. Maybe itâs the door to hell as a character in the trailer calls it, but who really knows? Not these two, thatâs for sure.
And not me either. Heck, I canât even tell you if this weird alchemy of romance and action-horror is any good because not only is it fairly cagey with itâs plot, it also doesnât have any reviews. It does have some credibility in that the director made the well liked Black Phone and the first Doctor Stranger movie.
Itâs being released by Apple and going straight to AppleTV+. Apple used to be the streamer that was most focused on doing big theatrical releases, but after Fly Me to the Moon âbombed,â theyâve made a fairly significant shift. And in that, they seemed to have taken on the âNetflix modelâ of reviews where they basically donât let them get out before the release of the movie (though The Flix will often change this strategy if the reviews are very good).
But to be honest, this does seem fairly fitting for a home viewing. Because while yes it has some scope and scale, it actually looks like a fairly âcontainedâ movie-lots of shots of the two stars trading messages from their watchtowers, and finally a descent into the madness. And itâs Valentineâs Day weekend. People go out, but plenty of couples love to stay home and âget cutesy and comfy on the couch.â
And while Iâm not sure AppleTV+âs breadth of audience is a ton bigger than Peacockâs (though Severance is definitely helping that cause), if at all, it does feel like thereâs a bit more cachĂŠ to the service.
Out: Friday
Where: AppleTV+
Details: 2 hrs 7 mins | PG-13 | đ : TBD
Paddington in Peru
Paddington movies are the cinematic equivalent of being five years old and laying down for a nap at daycare while your favorite teacher softly rubs your back.
Or at least I thought they were until I read this article from The New York Times where the writer describes how she sobbed through the entire first movie on a plane after her dad died as she found the movie tracked with her own feelings of abandonment.
I mean jesus fucking christ, nothing is really just what it seems, is it? Except the Trolls movies. Those things are dumb as shit. Catchy mind you, but dumb as shit.
But thatâs kind of what makes some unassuming movies so effective. Theyâre often laced with a level of depth that can go unnoticed. More often than not we watch and delight in the pleasantries, but then sometimes, we see the poignancy underneath all the warm fuzzies.
I know it sounds like Iâm making Paddington out to be the deepest shit ever, and itâs not. But itâs also a movie series thatâs much more than a cute bear getting into hijinksâthough again, it very much is that.
But thereâs a reason where, for a time, Paddington 2 was âthe best reviewed movie everâ on Rotten Tomatoes (a silly designation to be sure, but one thatâs good for headlines). Paddington is able to endear himself to audiences, open them up, and also act as a sort of humanity conduit, even if heâs a bear.
Credit to the filmmakers whoâve done it well for the last decade. And even as the director of the first two movies, Paul King, has moved on (as has Sally Hawkins as the Brown family matriach), new (and first time ever!) director Dougal Wilson seems to have continued the tradition. And while it doesnât seem Paddington 2 will lose itâs status as the best Paddington movie, youâre still likely to enjoy the bearific adventures of the marmalade licker once again.
Out: Friday
Where: Theaters
Details: 1 hr 46 mins | PG | đ : 94%
THE WEEKLY TRAILER PLAYLIST âŻ
Friendship - this trailer (and likely movie) will probably make little sense if you donât know who comedian Tim Robinson is. But if you do know who Tim Robinson is (and like him), youâre probably pretty stoked for this. Itâs basically like a gonzo I Love You Man, a more straight-forward comedy that also starred Paul Rudd.
Jurassic World Rebirth - Viola Davis continuing to add to her bad-assery bonafides as she plays a US President who has to unalive some terrorists after they fuck with her family.
Thunderbolts* - Marvelâs anti-heroes become the heroes.
F1 - Brad Pitt got his wittle head scrunched in a wittle helmet while he drives some wittle cars. Weeeeee.
The Friend - this preview image is a bit misleading. This is a dog movie. More specifically, itâs about a great dane whose owner (Bill Murray) dies and his friend (Naomi Watts) has to take care of it. Itâs already got my gf sobbing. đ
How to Train Your Dragon - the live-action remake gets a full on trailer.
Itâs pretty curated but, flying into New Delhi, a day trip to the Taj Mahal, wedding in Rishikesh, a couple days in Jaipur and back to New Delhi.
Are they rising? Or have they risen?