Discovering friends, new and old alike
Maybe some enemies along the way as well.
“I might be the only person on the face of the earth,
that knows you’re the greatest woman, on earth.”
One of the “things” about this newsletter is that I don’t write reviews. In part because there’s no way I could see all the movies beforehand, but I also don’t want to. I’m here to be a friend who knows some things who tells you some things - of which said things definitely don’t include spoilers (cuz remember, that’s what reviews are for).
With that said. 🙃
I implore you to watch the new movie Past Lives if you have any interest (it came out a few weeks ago, but expanded a bit more last weekend - though you may have to wait for streaming depending on where you live). It’s the kind of movie, if given the chance - by that I mean, your attention (it’s a quiet one) and right mindset (in a space to let love in 🫀) - that will absolutely pummel you. But instead of being bloodied on the the mat of a ring, you’ll be weeping in your seat.
Now, with that said.
Or maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll disagree with my assessment vehemently. Maybe you’ll be bored, rather than moved, to tears. I can’t tell you how you’ll react. But I can tell you there have been very few, if any, movies that deal with the multitudes of love in this kind of way. At least that I’ve seen. I think it’s a special movie that might be a special experience for you too.
And because I mentioned last week how I’d find it interesting to talk about movies less in terms of good, bad, this or that and more of how they make one feel. I’ll say that there were moments that made me feel emotions that are a bit complex to explain in words, but I’ll try. Maybe the biggest emotion I felt was longing. Not for something of my own, but the longing the characters felt. It’s so pronounced it’s almost spilling off the screen. And then there’s the compassion, so much of it. For all three of the characters. And appreciation. For how the characters treated themselves and each other.
In short, I guess you could say I liked it.
But maybe a better thing to say is, I felt it.
NEWSY BITS 👾
There Are Multiple Versions Of Spider-Man: Across The Spider-Verse Playing In Theaters [fairly simple alterations, and it’s not the first movie to do this (Clue went much farther), but it’s the perfect movie to do it with due to its multi-verse subject matter] - Slashfilm
Oscars to Require ‘Expanded Theatrical Run’ to Qualify for Best Picture Beginning in 2025 [interesting because it forces streamers, mainly Netflix at this point, to create a more dedicated theatrical release for movies they hope to be nominated] - Variety
Netflix Plans Pop-Up Restaurant in Los Angeles [interesting because it speaks to the ambitions of The Flix in expanding beyond the digital and increasing their physical footprint, see also: their TUDUM fan event in Brazil last weekend, the Stranger Things and Bridgerton experiences] - The Hollywood Reporter
EXTRA CREDIT MOVIE(S) 📝
NONE this week. So what you got on the test is what you get for your grade, sucka!
Fun fact. I worked on the marketing campaign for the last Indiana Jones movie, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (it was before Disney bought Lucasfilm). Shit was bonkers. The secrecy, the investment, the anticipation. Everybody at the studio wanted to like it. Needed to like it. And then, we saw it.
It wasn’t unlike the feeling coming out of watching Star Wars: The Phantom Menace for me personally. It was such a long time between being with the characters it almost couldn’t live up to the hopes and dreams. And it didn’t. But if you read reviews of Dial of Destiny now, they’ll try and say Crystal Skull got “loads of bad reviews” back in 2008. No, it didn’t. In fact it has the exact same Rotten Tomatoes score as The Temple of Doom.
It’s just that the expectations for Crystal Skull were kinda… high. As high as Indy flew in that lead lined refrigerator? Higher brah. Higher.
So it felt a little worse. But so what. It wasn’t THE BEST MOVIE EVER. Neither were the others (but they were obviously pretty damn good). But the context matters! And Mutt, Mutt mattered.
So here we are again, not quite as long between meetings, but still not a short time. And it’s been such an interval we lost the series’ beloved director Steven Spielberg. Not to death of course, just to other projects. Logan / Ford vs Ferrari director James Mangold took over in his stead.
So what are we doing here? Well, if Harrison Ford is to be believed, we’re saying hello again for the last time.
“I'm more comfortable leaving him at this place than he was at the end of Crystal Skull.“ - Harrison Ford on ending his time as Indiana Jones
Which in the context of already having seen Crystal Skull is a little like those like those double awkward goodbyes when you’re leaving a party - hugs are given, pleasantries are said and then… fuck, your cars are parked on the same street so you walk next to each other, unsure if you should start up a whole other conversation or walk in silence. Most of the time you kinda just make some small talk, not wanting to dip back into a full on repartee.
But Dial of Destiny is that friend who definitely tries to yank you back into the proverbial conversation with some tasty morsels - namely Nazis and a young(ish) Indy. Now of course Nazis are bad, we (should!) know this. But that’s exactly why they’re such fodder for Indiana Jones movies, they’re easy to hate. And punch. But Nazis are also what give us the young(ish) Indy here. A prologue piece sees Harrison Ford acting as his younger self, with the digital effects people making him look like his younger self, as he steals from the Hitler followers. For what it’s worth, critics say the effect is the best of any de-aging yet, possibly in part because Ford has done so many movies for Lucasfilm they were able to use actual footage of him at this age. As for the prologue, you’ll find reviewers split on whether it’s a nice way to ease back in, or a sweaty attempt to evoke nostalgia. Um, both?
But at this point it’s worth pointing out the obvious that critics, are paid to be critical. Not necessarily negative, but to watch with a discerning eye. Which is why they were pretty “meh” on The Super Mario Bros. Movie, and basically every fan who saw it was like fuuuuuuccck yeeaaah. So when Dial of Destiny premiered at Cannes recently, and “only” received a five minute standing ovation and some lukewarm reviews, one might’ve been a bit distraught as an Indy lover.
But remember, we’re post Crystal Skull. Our expectations have already been stomped on a little. We’re not jaded, we’re just… more aware of the realities of the world. Plus, knowing this is Ford’s last time portraying the character, kinda makes it easier to be a little more sympathetic. Or maybe that’s just me. But to see Harrison Ford, the gruffest motherfucker around, tearing up all over the place? Yeah, I’m probably gonna be a little less critical. Plus, the dude is 80 and still wanting to do his own stunts and he made sure the stunt people knew it by telling them to “Leave me the fuck alone…Leave me alone, I’m an old man getting off a horse and I want it to look like that!“ See, gruff.
Now I don’t really need (or want) to go deep into the plot. But you can guess it involves some adventuring, some fighting, and as noted above, some Nazis. But maybe most noteworthy is Jones’ new campaign, played by Phoebe Waller-Bridge from Fleabag (man that show was good). She plays his goddaughter, if a bit of an estranged one - and if this makes you wonder about Indy’s son, keep wondering cuz no spoilers here (but you can obviously check IMDb if you so choose). Waller-Bridge is known for witty banter and you can bet she’ll supply it. And while you’ll also meet a few other new characters (including Mads Mikkelsen as the new bad guy) see some familiar friends, the reason you’re going is to see Indy do Indy stuff. And Manohla Dargis put it quite well her review of the film.
“No matter how outrageous Indy’s trouble, Ford’s persona and outwardly effortless charm — and his ability to drop that rakish smile for something darker, meaner, even threatening — have kept the character tethered to the real world of feelings and consequences. Lucas and Spielberg sketched a cartoon; Ford created a character.“ - from the NY Times review of Dial of Destiny
So while it may not be the most stimulating conversation you’ve ever had, it might be worth remembering that it sure can be nice to talk with someone you’ve known for quite some time. Even if it’s just to say farewell.
Out: Thursday
Where: Theaters
2 hrs 24 mins | PG-13 | 🍅: 65%
This looks like it has the potential to be a discovery movie.
……??
Right, what the hell is a “discovery movie?” To be clear, they are not cinematic efforts from the TV channel that created (and subsequently severely over-indulged in) Shark Week. No, they’re actually something I imagine you’re quite familiar with. The movies you watch, enjoy immensely and have this feeling of “woah, where the hell did that come from?” And thus you start telling people about it posthaste due to your delightful experience such that others may have one as well.
Being a person who is really quite active in the reading, writing and watching of movies, I’m always surprised when something comes up where I’m like, this exists? How did I not know this exists. But when Netflix dropped the trailer a few weeks back I was intrigued. Turns out it was a (near finished) project when Disney bought 20th Century Fox a few years ago and they decided to “shelve it” - aka stop making it. But the people behind this cult-comic (written by ND Stevenson) turned animated adventure persisted and it eventually found its way to Netflix. Which sounds like it was for the better because Netflix apparently let the crew do what they wanted to do, which was make a movie about a spicy-tongued punk-lite changeling who forces her way into the employ of a disgraced knight (who happens to be gay and *gasp* even kisses his bae, which may have made Disney skittish) in some pseudo future sci-fi / fantasy realm.
If it all sounds like a lot, that’s because it is a lot. But all of it should play to the movie’s reported strength of doing (almost) whatever the hell it wants in an effort to make you laugh and feel things at the same time. 🤯
Now, I’m not sure if it’s gonna go “big” big, or if it might just be “big” for you. Or it might not even be big in any capacity! But if you don’t search, you can never find, eh?
Out: Friday
Where: Netflix
1 hr 41 mins | PG | 🍅: 97%
Have you ever gone out on a date and post meetup had a friend ask you how it went and all you could muster, even after a brief moment of contemplation, was “it was… nice.”? In that there wasn’t anything wrong with your date, they were probably perfectly pleasant, you chuckled a bit, smiled affectionally a time or three, there just wasn’t anything overly special or noteworthy. Sure, it was better than having your fingernails removed one by one, millimeter by millimeter (ouch). Doesn’t mean you want to go on a second hang though. Which is ok! Not every date is furiously-scribble-in-your-journal worthy.
Welp…surprise! Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken looks like the movie equivalent of that date. Nothing offensive, nothing egregiously bad, it just looks… nice. Which is pretty much what the reviews say too. That you’re probably not going to be mad you watched a well-tread tale of a young person (technically a krakeny-humany-hybrid?!) discovering that just being themselves is the answer they were searching for all along - the part where Ruby Gillman is a kraken who battles mermaids, who are like totally bad, is kinda new though. Just that it’ll probably turn into a movie you scroll past on a streaming service a few years from now and go, oohhh yeeeaaah, that movie.
Not all that different from how you probably reacted after swiping upon that same date on the apps a couple years later, ooooh yeeeaaaah, that person, smiled softly and then… *swipe*
Out: Friday
Where: Theaters
1 hr 30 mins | PG | 🍅: 71%
A trailer. A question.
Drive-Away Dolls - do we think Joel Coen, brother of Drive-Away Dolls director / co-writer Ethan Coen (who combined make up “the Coen brothers”) is annoyed his brother is making movies after reports he didn’t want to make movies anymore?1
Dumb Money - do we still think Seth Rogen got high everyday playing an uber-rich finance bro in this (very quickly made!) telling of the Gamestonk story?2
The Beanie Bubble - if this is about Beanie Babies, why aren’t there Beanie Babies in it?3
Bird Box Barcelona - do you think Netflix set this sequel in Barcelona merely for the alliteration?4
Five Nights at Freddy’s - do you think kids that played the game this movie is based on and who made it extremely popular enough to justify a cinematic adaption will be allowed to watch the movie?5
I hope not and I hope they make more movies together
duh
we all know why. copyright motherfucker!
if yes, will the sequel be titled Beyond Bird Box Barcelona?
yeah. on their friggen phones where there parents can’t see what they’re watching