Feel like stuffin' your eyeballs? đ
Before you stuff your face next week.
THE QUOTE đŹ đŹ
âWhat? Iâm menstruating. Why is that a big deal?â
hint: itâs so last last century
THINK THOUGHTS đ
I think this weekâs big entries took my whole âmovies have to be themed to the time periodâ a little too far.
Because both are nearly three hours long and seem to have taken the maximalist approach in presenting their stories. That is to say, they sound a bit overstuffed. Just like so many of us will be next week, post Thanksgiving meal. Now, this isnât necessarily a bad thing, I just find it a bit humorous that the trend continues.
But what I find hilarious, is the effort to turn Wicked and Gladiator into another Barbenheimer. Yeah, people - aka the press - are trying to call the combo âGlickedâ (pronounce it like Wicked). All because theyâre another pair of âbigâ movies that are opening the same day and seem like they split the genders in half quite nicely.
But because this appears to be more media driven than fans, Iâm not so sure itâs really sticking. Feels a bit manufactured. Iâm sure Universal and Paramount, the two studios responsible for the movies, would love for it to be a similar phenomenon. But it doesnât really seem to matter, as both movies are already on track to do really quite well.
Which should mean busy theaters this weekend and next. But if youâre not into throngs of people. Donât fret, there are a number of streaming options, including yet another holiday ab-fest from Netflix.
NEWSY BITS đž
Denzel Washington to Star in âEqualizer' 4 and 5 - Soooo, about that retirement there buddy. - NPR
Conan OâBrien Will Host the Next Academy Awards - aka the most high profile, least forgiving job in entertainment? - NY Times
Promise, a Generative AI Studio Startup, Raises Seed Funding From Peter Chernin, Andreessen Horowitz - quick explainer: âgenerative AIâ as in the type of AI that can create new stuff based on what you ask it to do. I.e. draw a picture, or in this case, make a movie scene. Am I (pretty) skeptical? You bet. Am Iâm still curious? You bet. - Variety
EXTRA CREDIT MOVIE(S) đ
The Piano Lesson - the third of ten film adaptations of August Wilsonâs plays Denzel Washington is producing. Washington starred in Fences, Ma Raineyâs Black Bottom came next, and now Washingtonâs sons (John David acting and Malcom directing) have stepped in to tell this story of a Black family that owns a piano that is far more than just a musical instrument. The reviews say the streak of honoring Wilson with well acted and well crafted versions continues, but that youâll still be aware youâre watching a piece based on a play. Streaming on Netflix Friday
Blitz - Shame and 12 Years a Slave director Steve McQueen takes on the bombing of London during WW 2 through the eyes of a separated mother and son, the latter of which happens to be biracial (a key aspect to his journey). The reviews are positive, like they are for nearly every McQueen movie, but critics have been noting it feels a bit more bland than his other projects, if still very well made. Streaming on Apple TV+ Friday
Spellbound - a fairly âkiddyâ looking Netflix flick about a girl trying to save her parents from a spell that turned them into big-ass creatures. Itâs the second full release from Skydance Animation, which is most notable for its creative head, John Lasseter, the once head of Pixar who stepped down after admitting to âsexual misconduct.â Directed by one of the co-directors of Shrek, though she oddly hasnât made much recently. No reviews yet, but if you read regularly, you know The Flix has a tendency to hold back - unless the they anticipate great reviews of course. Streaming on Netflix Friday
The Merry Gentlemen - Netflix sure as hell seems to think people want abs for Xmas⌠While itâs no Hot Frosty, The Flixâs next holiday rom-com has Britt Robertson enlists Chad Michael Murray and a few other bros, and six packs, to help save her parentsâ bar. A few reviews confirm itâs not quite the cheeky delight as Frosty, but that you wonât be offended either. Unless you hate seeing abs. Streaming on Netflix NOW
NOTABLE NEW RELEASE(S) đ & đş
Wicked
I always knew the Wicked stage show was a bit of a thing (I saw it years ago and liked it lots), but I donât think I realized it was a thing thing. As in, the kinda thing where people are losing control of their vocal chords during early previews of the movie adaptation, belting out their favorite songs in movie theaters, social norms and fellow moviegoers be damned.
But as Iâve come to learn over the course of the filmâs marketing, and itâs likely box office, itâs definitely, unequivocally, a thing. Which means for many people whoâve been fans since the early days, the anticipation must feel like when youâve had to pee during a reeeeally long car ride and now youâre right about to get to the toilet.
Which is maybe why people are feeling perfectly fine to disrupt their neighbors, because theyâre just so damn relieved at being able to let it out, they canât help themselves. Been there friend, been there.
But if you were like me or even more in the dark of Wickedâs âthingness,â Iâm here as a friend to tell you the story is a "reframingâ of the Wizard of Oz. One in which the Wicked Witch of the West and Glinda are actually friends, and not enemies like we see them when Dorothyâs around.
Oh, and you probably know this already, but there will be looots of singing. Itâs something the movie hasnât shied away from showing off in its marketing, unlike many other recent musicals. But one thing Wicked has that the others donât is Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande, two very (very) good singers - so that might help a little in oneâs desire to show off the goods. In fact, they actually sang live while they shot the movie as opposed to going back and doing it in post. A choice director John M. Chu (Crazy Rich Asians, In the Heights) said they made because it creates more authenticity and emotion in the scenes. Which is only slightly funny considering how much CGI is in the movie.
But we know fans are stoked, how about critics? Also fairly high on the stoke scale! Plenty of discussion around the movie doing the most at nearly all times, but that Erivo and Grande are able to keep the movie focused with a combination of the aforementioned excellent pipes as well as some legit emotion and solid comedic timing.
So yeah, it sounds like they pulled off the transition for the most part. Which probably makes it even more likely theaters will be filled with a bunch of American Idol wannabes poppinâ off in their seats. Meaning, if you do go this weekend, Iâd be prepared for a group karaoke. And if thatâs your nightmare? Ya know, maybe hold a beat.
Out: Today
Where: Theaters
Details: 2 hrs 40 mins | PG | đ : 92%
Gladiator II
The restraint one must have not to pose the 2000 originalâs most famous line1 in describing its sequel, is quite massive. Especially when this sequel looks like the cinematic manifestation of that query.
Thatâs because, at 86, director Ridley âYouâre All a Bunch of Slackersâ Scott came back even harder with this one and basically said, âIâll make goddamn sure youâre entertained.â Which means, of course, he added rhinos, water battles and⌠sharks?! Yup, sharks.
Because while there are actual, and legit, story wrinkles, Gladiator II looks to follow the rough format of the Russell Crowe starrer, i.e. youâll see a dude (Paul Mescal from Normal People) and lots of other buff dudes fighting, yelling and bleeding in the Coliseum for the entertainment of the masses.
Although in truth, it seems like Scottâs best addition may have been casting Denzel Washington (although thatâs generally the case for any director). Because while critics say the film is one big spectacle, sometimes it stumbles a bit thanks to the weight of it, but that Washington is his own spectacle as he essentially disregards his settings of ancient Rome and just acts the shit out of his scenes as a nearly 70 year old badass.
Itâs a smart move, because youâre not coming to these movies to see historical accuracy, youâre coming to see wish fulfillment. And sometimes that means heads getting chopped off, and sometimes itâs Denzel Washington dominating the shit out of his political opponents. Whichever youâre in for, youâre sure to get it, and lots more.
Out: Today
Where: Theaters
Details: 2 hrs 28 mins | R | đ : 78%
THE WEEKLY TRAILER PLAYLIST âŻ
Babygirl - the well liked story of a dominate intern and his submissive, who also happens to be his CEO (Nicole Kidman), who is risking her life for this intense new feeling sheâs discovered.
How to Train Your Dragon - DreamWorks copying Disney with the live action version of their animated classics.
A Minecraft Movie - full trailer, still fully wtf?
Better Man - fantastical musical biopic about the life of Robbie Williams (British pop star people!), except he looks like an ape. Directed by Michael Gracey who made the massive slow-burn success, The Greatest Showman.
Nutcrackers - Julianne Moore, Tilda Swinton are friends who reconnect as one of them appears to be dying. The first English movie from well-regarded Spanish director Pedro AlmodĂłvar.
Back in Action - basically the couple version of that Mark Wahlberg movie where heâs a secret spy who becomes a family man. Oh, didnât see that one because it looked bland? Unfortunately, since this is Cameron Diazâs first movie in long while, this does too.