"Holiday Glut" Sounds Like a Bad Thing

But it's only a bad thing if you hate options. Don't be a hater.

Dec 22, 2022

“Does Princess Sophia wanna come out and play??!”

The “Holiday Glut” kinda sounds like it should be the name for that feeling you get inside your tummy after you hoover your 27th Xmas tree shaped sugar cookie, but in fact it’s the yet to be trademarked moniker for the movie release period that occurs riiiiight about… now.

And in an effort to keep you apprised of all your movie watching options but also not make your eyes cover with more glaze than is on the ham you may be consuming imminently, I’m doing a Holiday Glut™ (well that was fast) edition of the What’s Coming Out This Week section. Where every movie is featured, but all of them are described in one sentence or less1. Nice and tidy. And if it sounds like a lot of movies to consider, consider that last year there were eight new releases. Eight! That’s like one less than nine! 🤯 But honestly, I think current day you has it way better than last year you as far as quality options are concerned. Suck it last year you!

Anyway, take a read, take a pick and watch. Or don’t. And enjoy some of that not doing anything at-fucking-all. Because there’s always next year. Literally.

Movies are more fun to watch with a friend.

Note: for you NY / LA folk, there are some movies getting limited releases (see: Living, The Pale Blue Eye, White Noise, Women Talking) but I’m going to wait to feature them when they either expand or pop onto their respective streaming services.

(from left to right: *Glass Onion, Babylon, Puss in Boots, I Wanna Dance With Somebody, The Whale, Matilda*)

Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery - I could tell you what happens2, but then you’d have kill me, because you’re probably just as excited for the return of Benoit Blanc (Daniel Craig) as everyone else who enjoyed the hell out of him solving that previous sweater-laden murder (mystery). 🔪

Trailer | 🍅 - 93% | Netflix (Friday)

Babylon - combine the excess of The Wolf of Wall Street, the nostalgic love of Hollywood from La La Land and shove in the run time of Avatar: The Way of Water (it’s 4 mins shorter), and you have Babylon, a movie from the actual director of La La Land about “the death of cinema” set during the death of silent cinema, with Brad Pitt (somewhat meta-”ly”) portraying the old and Margot Robbie embodying the (trying to be) new guard.

Trailer | 🍅 - 60% | Theaters (Friday)

Puss in Boots: The Last Wish - maybe the most unexpected addition to the list of sequels that took over a decade to release, but it may also be one of the most successful, with reviews saying the refreshed animation style (think Spider-Man: Into the Spicder-Verse), a continued great turn by Antonio Banderas and a more heartfelt - but still quite funny - story may make you long for another sequel, but ideally with a much shorter time in-between.

Trailer | 🍅 - 96% | Theaters (Today)

I Wanna Dance With Somebody - probably the most obvious name for a movie that apparently hits all of the obvious *ahem* notes in a standard looking biopic of the late, great Whitney Houston.

Trailer | 🍅 - 41% | Theaters (Friday)

The Whale - Director Darren Aronofsky is probably the reason this story of a moribund man trying to repair his relationship with his estranged daughter (Stranger Thing’s Sadie Sink) was greenlit, but critics say the reason to watch is for Brendan Fraser’s (bound to be Oscar nominated) profoundly bittersweet performance.

Trailer | 🍅 - 63% | Theaters (Now)

Matilda the Musical - the precociously telekinetic Matilda is the first of Roald Dahl’s stories to show up on The Flix after the streaming company purchased the rights, but in a bit of a twist, it’s a musical version, with Emma Thompson handling the duties of portraying the awful and awfully ugly (on the inside!) Miss Trunchbull in exactly the way you imagine she world - marvelously.

Trailer | 🍅 - 91% | Netflix (Xmas Day)