I have a problem.
I'd ask for help, but it might be a little awkward considering the circumstances.
“Helen and I have been married 42 years.
Lately, every night, I find myself asking the same question.
Who, is this old woman who lives in my house?
Why is it that every-little-thing she does irritates me.
Like the way she gets the keys out of her purse, long before we reach the car.”
I have a problem. And my problem, is you. Or at least the version of you I create in my head each week. See, whenever I’m writing, at various points I’m crafting some retort you give me based on what I’m going to put out (or have put out) that week. E.g. when I reread each edition and find mistakes (ugh, the worst) or realize I maybe should have featured a movie, you pop into my head (btw, say hi next time, would you?).
Like last week’s newsletter had an unfortunate grammatical error where I typed “writer’s strike” instead of “writers strike” - as in possessive, not plural ←as it should be. I imagined how you were all like “Jesus Latham, have you ever taken a friggen English class?!” and then proceeded to toss your head back, laugh hoity-toity-ly and request your butler, Archibald, bring you another biscuit with your pinkie in the air. What? It’s my imagination, I do what I want.
I’ve mentioned in the past that one of the big reasons I keep putting this out each week is because I enjoy it. But I’m not ego-less and I very much want you to enjoy it too. I’m under no allusions as to where this fits within your life, but if it brings in a smirk or some utility here and there, excellent. So I try and make it as useful as possible. Which brings me to the conundrum of this week, which is that there are a Sir Mix-a-Lot-preferred-size-buttload of movies coming out, but none of them are “substantial” - and by that I mean a significant number of people are going to watch them (outside of maybe the Book Club sequel, but still only relatively).
I don’t expect you to watch every movie I mention, or even any of them - we go through a lot of movies here at WIT+ - but I do want you to be aware of them, again, if you so choose. So when there’s an inordinate amount of movies releasing like there are this week, I always debate whether I should mention all of them, knowing that you might wipe your memory of them 30 seconds after scanning this email.
But one of my hopes in these scenarios too is that when these movies inevitably shift to streaming (if they’re theatrical), and you see them as you take your 5.7 minutes (on average) deciding what to watch, you might recall some tidbit from this email.
So what I’m getting at is, I’m aware there are a lot of movies and I’m also aware you probably aren’t going to see them in theaters most of the time, but that sometimes I’m not always writing for immediate watching purposes, but sometimes for the yet to be times. Basically I’m a movie informing time traveling soothsayer. Who loves arugula so much he eats it by the fistfuls. The latter part not being pertinent to this discussion in the slightest, but I wanted to let you know. Because I care about you. Even if you are still my (forever) problem.
PS And because there are so many movies this week, I’m going use one of those shortening tactics I do sometimes and describe each movie as a combination of two movies or a movie and some other random object which hopefully conveys the essence of each film. If not, just watch the trailer. Or do it anyway. Trailers are fun.
NEWSY BITS 👾
Disney+ And Hulu Programming To Be Combined Into One App By Year’s End, Bob Iger Says - [Iger, Disney’s CEO said Hulu will be available as a separate app, but they’ll also be pulling content off their platforms and focusing on making less content, but more effort behind what they do put out. Seems to be a trend.] - Deadline
EXTRA CREDIT MOVIE(S) 📝
Fool’s Paradise - Charlie Day from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia directed a movie where he plays a sorta modern day Charlie Chaplin / Buster Keaton type. He also got a bunch of friends that are stars to also star in it. No reviews yet, but looks like a goofily charming movie if you’re into its vibe. Playing in Limited Theaters Friday
Knights of the Zodiac - a live-action version of what I’ve read is a popular manga (and 80’s cartoon series). There are a handful of reviews, but you can be pretty sure the only people watching are fans of the comic (or those with little care for what plays in the background). Playing in Theaters Friday
It’s like…
…the first Book Club and 80 for Brady (both also starring Jane Fonda) because they are literally the same movies. Well of course not literally literally, but in the modern sort of literally, which means figuratively (although it’s actually not that modern). A cast of women in their 70’s (and up) jaunt around the globe and enjoy the hell out of themselves. We should all be so lucky.1
Out: Friday
Where: Theaters
1 hr 47 mins | PG-13 | 🍅: 53%
It’s like…
…Taken was remixed with that internet meme Mommy? Sorry. Mommy? Sorry. and thus we get a female version of a zaddy, a uh… zommy?2 played by Jennifer Lopez. I mean, who else is gonna look as good as she does protecting her child after spending 16 years in hiding?
Out: Friday
Where: Netflix
1 hr 56 min | R | 🍅: TBD
It’s like…
…a straight version of the “conversion therapy” movies Boy Erased / The Miseducation of Cameron Post or a more serious version of the comedic take on sexual repression Yes, God, Yes in that it delves into the brutal tool that is shame heaped onto humans by other humans for feelings that are entirely natural (and for what?3).
Out: Friday
Where: Limited Theaters
1 hr 56 mins | R | 🍅: 95%
It’s like…
…Memento and Inception were tossed into a milk jug, set on the counter for a while, someone saw some lumpy parts starting to form so they decided to shake it to see if they could get rid of them and when they opened it up and started to pour, much to their surprise, out popped a stern-faced Ben Affleck searching for his lost daughter.
Out: Friday
Where: Limited Theaters
1 hr 32 mins | R | 🍅: 44%
It’s like…
…The Social Network sucked face with a Funny or Die video and their baby was way (way) less ugly than you expected it to be and when you finally saw the newborn’s face you didn’t have to put on that pretend “awww, they’re so cuuute” look, but were able to actually enjoy interacting with this adorable little creature that somehow also left you laughing and smiling?!
The baby is a metaphor for a dark comedy about the origins of the Blackberry (starring Jay Baruchel and Glenn Howerton from It’s Always Sunny), if you didn’t gather. Oh, you did? Because you’re not a complete moron? Cool cool cooool. I’ll be leaving now…
Out: Friday
Where: Limited Theaters
1 hr 59 mins | R | 🍅: 98%
It’s like…
…a long version of one those Sunday sit-down interviews (which Fox also did) and a biographical documentary on a historical figure, except told by said historical figure, who is also still very much a modern day figure and still charming AF.
Out: Friday
Where: Apple TV+
1 hr 59 mins | R | 🍅: 98%
I only got two for you this week my friends. One is oh so serious and the other, oh so silly.
Oppenheimer - second trailer for Christopher Nolan’s take on the creation of the atomic bomb. I’m into it.
Meg 2: The Trench - 90’s movies alive and well baby.
both to make it to our 80’s and enjoy lifelong friendships - even if they’re as cheesy as the ones presented in these movies
mozzy? mozzy star? am I fading into you?
control and as a result of the shame-givers own shame. what a… shame