Let's get a little bit dramatic, shall we?
And by a little bit, I mean a lot bit.
“That’ll do Donkey, that’ll do.”
This is gonna sound like a high thought, but I swear to Nicholas Cage it wasn’t. But have you ever thought about how interesting it is that a finite experience like a movie (roughly 90-180 minutes of time) can produce, for all practical purposes, infinite little offshoot experiences, from the conversations that go into deciding to watch that movie, the ones that happen after about what the movie meant or how something was awesome or terrible, or the thoughts that were spurred from a movie turned into ideas than turned into other discussions? Meaning, each movie is basically an “experience bomb” set off each time someone watches it?
You haven’t? And you’re pretty sure I’m high right now, even though I swear I’m not. Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool cool cooooool.
NEWSY BITS 👾
Actors union agrees to 11th hour mediation effort, but strike still looms [strike could start at midnight Thursday, PT - this happens as reports say that in the studios’ other ongoing strike, their strategy is basically waiting for writers to run out of money before they negotiate. 🫥 Studios call bullshit, but who really knows? On the overall, for you the consumer it may mean that some shows and movies may be well delayed in their returns or starts] - CNN
EXTRA CREDIT MOVIE(S) 📝
The Miracle Club - British feel good, if trite looking, story, with good actors (Maggie Smith, Laura Linney, Kathy Bates) about resolving long simmering issues. Reviews are pleasant in a nice-ish way. Playing in Limited Theaters This Friday
With a lot of arrogance and little credence, one could make an argument that Tom Cruise continues to run, or more accurately sprint, towards death-defying acts as a means of running away from death itself. In an effort to feel alive as he gets to an age (61) where people start to say “well, they weren’t that young” if someone faces an unforeseen demise. But if that is the case, his ultimately futile escape of the dark oblivion has produced some really great action movies for those of us who like that kinda stuff. And considering this is the seventh(!) Mission: Impossible movie, people really seem to like that kinda stuff.
Now of course Cruise, as he is constantly reminding people during his press tours and before seeing his movies, actually does all the things he does because he really (really) just loves making movies for audiences to see in theaters. But regardless of where his ultimate motivation comes from, I believe he believes. The guy is co-mmi-tted. How else do you huck yourself off a Norwegian mountain six times on a careening motorcycle if you’re not bought in?
The last in the series, Fallout, came out in 2018 and I joked in this newsletter then that the aspect people tend to talk most about with regards to Mission movies now is how Cruise does his own stunts. Which I can confirm is no accident as I worked on the marketing for 2015’s Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation and while that was not the only sell, it was a big one and a core tenet of that film’s campaign. Paramount took it even further with this one by creating a ten minute mini-doc on how the aforementioned mountain hucking happened and instead of dropping it right before release day (like they usually do and did with their other action set pieces), dropped it six months before release. Basically saying, oh this shit right here? Yeah, we’re showing you this shit right here and even though you’ve just seen it, you’re gonna give us fifteen bucks to see it again. Save up motherfuckers.
And thus this aggressive adventuring has essentially become “the thing” of the franchise. The hucking, the hanging off planes, the dropping off helicopters, the skydiving in high altitude. But it’s worked, as fans keep showing up and critics, unlike with most franchises running this long, are still totally into it. Surprised as they are.
But it does make an intuitive sense because at this point M:I movies are sort of cinematic antonyms to the CGI heavy fests that dominate the box office otherwise. But it’s not the only thing, because stunts without some solid acting and good looking people telling a story are just really expensive YouTube videos. And while you shouldn’t expect anything that’ll allow you to leave the theater actually retaining the plot, it should be enough that you don’t let your mind wander into “why do hot dogs typically come in packages of ten, but hot dog buns come in packages of eight?” territory.
Because along with Cruise, you’ll have a cast of entertaining folks that include the usual (Ving Rhames, Simon Pegg, Rebecca Ferguson - Vanessa Kirby is back too), but also some new players like Pom Klementieff (Mantis from Guardians of the Galaxy) and Haley Atwell (Peggy Carter from Captain America stuff) as well as a return of Eugene Kittridge, the smarmy IMF boss from the first Mission: Impossible. Which for a series that’s always been focused on the next, it’s interesting that they’re bringing up the past.
But don’t think for a second ol’ Thomas Mapother IV will be looking behind his shoulder for long, not with Dead Reckoning Part 2 coming out next year. Well, not unless it’s to avoid an oncoming runaway semi as he tries to unstrap himself from a tree he’s tied to of course.
Note: the movie’s run time is, like many movies these days, long and approaching three hours. Plan accordingly.
Out: NOW
Where: Theaters
2 hrs 43 mins | R | 🍅: 96%
Did you just skip the entire Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part 1 overview because you fell asleep reading that stupidly long title, woke up confused because your computer had scrolled here, but you’re still all like “eh, whatever,” or because you find action movies super boring and you want REAL drama, as in THEATER drama?
Well either way, *furiously pantomimes unwrapping a large package in histrionic fashion* do I have a perfectly planned writeup just. for. you.
In the most counter programming to maybe ever counter program1, Theater Camp is a mockumentary style movie in the vein of Best in Show and A Mighty Wind, where the focus is on the awkward and maybe slightly uncomfortable “realistic” situations that would go on at a place where teens are setup to portray cocaine being sucked up a nose. And I used quotes, but maybe this is an accurate portrayal of theater camp. I don’t know, I barely went to camp as a kid, let alone a theater-y one. Maybe if I had I’d be starring in movies rather than writing about them. Thanks for nothing mom and dad…. *huffs performatively as he shoves laptop off desk, realizes laptop is expensive, quietly and sheepishly bends down to grab hopefully undamaged laptop*
Huh. Wow. Apparently writing about drama is making me dramatic. I can’t say you won’t be similarly affected as the reviews are citing a fun and positive experience at camp, with a few haters loitering about. But like, fuck the haters riiieeeeght? They’re just jealous anyway.
Out: Friday
Where: Limited Theaters
1 hr 34 mins | PG-13 | 🍅: 76%
Lots of trailers about influential or “great” men this week. Quotes because that term is very subjective and maybe applied a bit too liberally. But I will say, only one of them gives people candy2…
Wonka - sure, what the hell
Napoleon - I don’t know dude, the movie may end up being good, but this trailer, in my humble opinion, is not good.
Bob Marley: One Love - pretty sure every notable musician will get a biopic, and then we’ll move on to less notable musicians, and then YouTube cover musicians and then eventually, we’ll just start all over again
The Nun II - the first one was from a good franchise, but was apparently a pretty schlocky deal. Didn’t matter, it made money, so a number two we shall have.
The Corner Office - I haven’t watched Severance (I know!), but this kinda looks like a, not the same, but kinda in the same tone of Severance type movie where Jon Hamm may or may not have discovered a secret corner office in his… office.
as in give people an option besides Mission: Impossible
it’s Napoleon