One (good) reason I write this newsletter.

It ain't the sleepless nights, I'll tell ya that much.

THE QUOTE 🎬 💬

“The irony is that that unless we come up with another system I’m going to kill you.

That’s the irony of it.

hint: ah, when friends become roommates

THINK THOUGHTS 💭

In the over eight years I’ve been writing this newsletter, there’s been a really fun side effect. Not the fame. Definitely not the fortune—I’m much much too humble for all that.

No, it’s that people talk to me about movies. Like, they ask if I’ve seen something, going to see something, what I think about this trailer or that bit of Hollywood going ons. In other words…

I have a thing.

Ya know, something people associate with you. It’s like when you tell people you really like frogs so everyone keeps buying you frog themed gifts until your home is so chock full of frog shit that if one more god damn person buys you another friggen frog keychain dongle you’re literally going to croak.

Except yay for me, my thing is movies.

I mean, I understand it of course, for regularly readers (i.e. you?) I’m here, parked in your inbox, hangin’ out with the Patagonia sales and unread forwards from your dad. Every week. Like clock work.¹ It’s a testament to the power of consistency and repetition.

And honestly, I know people who are far more knowledgeable or watch way more movies than I do. But since I incepted everyone, when they see movies, they may think of me.

In reality, it’s just a way for me to keep myself relevant with people I enjoy.

So if the next time you go see or read about a movie, and you think of me or this newsletter, send me a note. Because my “home” will never get too full of “frogs.”

NEWSY BITS 👾

Justin Baldoni Allowed to Seek Messages Between Blake Lively and Taylor Swift, Court Rules - told you. - The Hollywood Reporter

‘Harold & Kumar 4’: Sequel To Beloved R-Rated Buddy Stoner Comedy Coming From ‘Cobra Kai’ Creators - let’s get high bitches. - The Playlist

Tyler Perry Sued for Alleged Sexual Assault, Battery by ‘The Oval’ Actor - part one of two (see below). Although the circumstances and accusations differ, still wonder how they’ll play out. - The Hollywood Reporter

Jared Leto Accused of Sexual Misconduct by Multiple Women, Including Some Who Say They Were Underage, as Actor Denies Allegations - part two - People

Disney Takes Full Control of Hulu for Billions Less Than Comcast Wanted - the price component is less interesting than the control, which “Some analysts expect Disney to eventually discontinue Hulu as a stand-alone app and make it a tile within Disney+.” I’d bet on it. - The New York Times

Blumhouse Buys Rights to ‘Saw’ Franchise - “With the deal, the franchise makes its way back to James Wan, who directed the original, blood-soaked “Saw” in 2004. Wan’s Atomic Monster label merged with Blumhouse in 2024. The company’s list of films includes “Get Out,” “The Purge,” “M3GAN” and “Annabelle.” - Variety

It’s Official: Streaming Is Now the King of TV - “Americans watched more television via streaming services than they did through cable and broadcast networks in the month of May, Nielsen said in a report on Tuesday. It is the first time that has happened over a full month.“ Culturally this has been the case for a long time, but now the data supports it. And what changed? “Older viewers watch a lot of television, more than any other cohort — one-third of all viewing comes from this group. And they have been moving to streaming in droves in the last few years“- The New York Times

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NOTABLE NEW RELEASE(S) 🎟 & 📺

28 Days Later

I really don’t understand what it is about zombies and human flesh, since I’ve “allegedly” never tasted it myself. (editor’s note: ……?)

It’s like our muscles and skin flaps imbue godlike powers which allow them to stay mobile whilst simultaneously being dead. It’s a damn right contradiction in terms. Which I wouldn’t know anything about, because, again, I’ve never supped on tasty people meat. “Allegedly.” (editor’s note: ok, what is going on here)

But whatever it is, the whole situation sure does make for a potent canvas for cinema. Going all the way back to 1932’s White Zombie and the birth of the modern zombie genre in George A. Romero’s stellar Night of the Living Dead.

But when 28 Days Later came out in 2003, it turned zombies from shuffling hordes into sprinting banshees in a revitalization of the entire genre. It’s as if the brain eaters got a nice lil upgrade. It was a good enough one that it almost makes you want to kinda sorta consider taking just a teansy itty bitty dip into the pool of cannibalism. Which I’ve never dove into. Allegedly. (editor’s note: nope, nuh uh, not having it. You keep using “allegedly” in the exact wrong way. You say “allegedly” when you’re accused of doing something wrong. Not when you’re refraining from doing the thing that you most certainly should not be doing. All you’re doing is making us think you’ve consumed parts of another human!!)

……..

(editor’s note: That’s it. I’m done, I’m fucking done. He’s all yours folks.)

Now where was I? Oh, right, Danny Boyle reinvigorated zombie movies and now he's back to do it all over again with his acting friends Jodie Comer, Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Ralph Fiennes. Mind you there was a sequel titled 28 Weeks Later in 2007, but that had neither Boyle nor original screenwriter Alex Garland (who wrote and directed Ex Machina, Civil War) involved. This is a kickstart for what Boyle and Garland hope is a trilogy—one that explores how humans have evolved alongside their apex predator.

And oh boy does it sound like it was worth the wait.

“this tense and tender post-apocalyptic drama contends that to exist in denial of death is to corrupt the integrity of life itself.” - from the IndieWire review of 28 Years Later

It’s one of those cases where the content of the reviews match the peaks of the Rotten Tomatoes score. I.e. critics aren’t just recommending it, they’re gushing about it. They say it goes well beyond a “zombie movie” in the most literal sense. But in it’s genre expansion, it still holds onto the core of what it is—a story of survival in the most trying of circumstances.

In other words, you may be leaking fluids from multiple parts of your body. So maybe bring tissues, and diapers, just in case.

And if anyone says you peed yourself, you know what to do.

“Allegedly.”

Out: Friday

Where: Movie Theaters

Details: 1 hr 55 mins | R | 🍅: 95%

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Elio

This is a Pixar movie. And that means something to people.

Iiiiit’s just a bit unfortunate that means lowered expectations after the insane highs Pixar achieved with many of their insta-classics from the early days. It’s almost unfair to compare something new to a movie like UP, Toy Story, Finding Nemo or Wall-E. The shit was just that good.

And it’s not like they started making complete garbage, not even close. I thought Soul and Turning Red were excellent, and can’t forget Coco, which borders on insta-classic imho. Hell, even Luca was a nice little diddy (not that one). But there hasn’t been a Pixar movie that’s become a sensation in a good while. And Inside Out 2 doesn’t count, even if it became the biggest animated movie ever at the box office, because that was playing off the installed love of the first one. Sure, Pixar’s last movie, Elemental, ended up making some good money after an initially weak opening, but there’s a solid chance the average person doesn’t even know that movie.

It’s a lot of pre-amble to say, Elio looks like it’s a very nice movie from the folks at Pixar who are very good at what they do. It looks pretty as hell, has compelling themes of learning to feel comfortable with who you are, there are goofy little alien creatures that are also cute af and it’s set in space with being Lightyear.

And reviews say it is all that, but it’s also not quite more than that. It isn’t that “Pixar plus” kind of movie where they just absolutely kill it for kids, adults and everyone in-between (don’t ask what’s in-between).

Which means you’re almost certainly going to enjoy yourself, you may like it far more than I’m leading on!, but there’s a strong case to be made that you won’t remember the movie in 5-10 years like you did with og Pixar.

Which is ok! Things change.

But we’ll always have the opening scene of UP.

Out: Friday

Where: Movie Theaters

Details: 1 hr 39 mins | PG | 🍅: 85%

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EXTRA CREDIT MOVIE(S) 📝

Bride Hard - fun puns aside, this doesn’t look like the most fun movie. Sure it wants to be fun, but the reviews say this Bridesmaids action comedy is tired and a bit cheap looking. - Movie Theaters Friday

KPop Demon Hunters - exactly what it says it is! Group of singers must battle their mortal enemies, a KPop boy band. No reviews, because this is a Netflix flick. - Netflix Friday

Everything’s Going to be Great - a family that’s also its own acting troupe movies to taker over a repertory theater. The reviews are few, but while they say Allison Janney and Bryan Cranston are their usual delightful selves, the affair doesn’t know what it wants to be and thus ends up being nothing. Except a bit tedious. - Limited Theaters Friday

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THE TRAILERS ⏯

Spaceballs 2: The Sweat Strikes Back* - oh fuck yes.

Note: I may have made up “The Sweat Strikes Back” sub-title.

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Springsteen: Deliver Me From Nowhere - Bruce Springsteen isn’t a god. But you’d think he was after watching the trailer for his biopic featuring The Bear star Jeremy Allan White as Bruce.

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The Naked Gun - Frank Drebin is back. This time with a Jr. attached to his name.

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I Know What You Did Last Summer - cool, was it fun watching me sit at a desk?

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In Your Dreams - brother and sister go lucid dreaming.

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1. Clockwork if that clock had some lose associations with the notion of time.