One (good) reason I write this newsletter.
It ain't the sleepless nights, I'll tell ya that much.
THE QUOTE đŹ đŹ
âThe irony is that that unless we come up with another system Iâm going to kill you.
hint: ah, when friends become roommates
THINK THOUGHTS đ
In the over eight years Iâve been writing this newsletter, thereâs been a really fun side effect. Not the fame. Definitely not the fortuneâIâm much much too humble for all that.
No, itâs that people talk to me about movies. Like, they ask if Iâve seen something, going to see something, what I think about this trailer or that bit of Hollywood going ons. In other wordsâŠ
I have a thing.
Ya know, something people associate with you. Itâs like when you tell people you really like frogs so everyone keeps buying you frog themed gifts until your home is so chock full of frog shit that if one more god damn person buys you another friggen frog keychain dongle youâre literally going to croak.
Except yay for me, my thing is movies.
I mean, I understand it of course, for regularly readers (i.e. you?) Iâm here, parked in your inbox, hanginâ out with the Patagonia sales and unread forwards from your dad. Every week. Like clock work.1 Itâs a testament to the power of consistency and repetition.
And honestly, I know people who are far more knowledgeable or watch way more movies than I do. But since I incepted everyone, when they see movies, they may think of me.
In reality, itâs just a way for me to keep myself relevant with people I enjoy.
So if the next time you go see or read about a movie, and you think of me or this newsletter, send me a note. Because my âhomeâ will never get too full of âfrogs.â
NEWSY BITS đŸ
Justin Baldoni Allowed to Seek Messages Between Blake Lively and Taylor Swift, Court Rules - told you. - The Hollywood Reporter
âHarold & Kumar 4â: Sequel To Beloved R-Rated Buddy Stoner Comedy Coming From âCobra Kaiâ Creators - letâs get high bitches. - The Playlist
Tyler Perry Sued for Alleged Sexual Assault, Battery by âThe Ovalâ Actor - part one of two (see below). Although the circumstances and accusations differ, still wonder how theyâll play out. - The Hollywood Reporter
Jared Leto Accused of Sexual Misconduct by Multiple Women, Including Some Who Say They Were Underage, as Actor Denies Allegations - part two - People
Disney Takes Full Control of Hulu for Billions Less Than Comcast Wanted - the price component is less interesting than the control, which âSome analysts expect Disney to eventually discontinue Hulu as a stand-alone app and make it a tile within Disney+.â Iâd bet on it. - The New York Times
Blumhouse Buys Rights to âSawâ Franchise - âWith the deal, the franchise makes its way back to James Wan, who directed the original, blood-soaked âSawâ in 2004. Wanâs Atomic Monster label merged with Blumhouse in 2024. The companyâs list of films includes âGet Out,â âThe Purge,â âM3GANâ and âAnnabelle.â - Variety
Itâs Official: Streaming Is Now the King of TV - âAmericans watched more television via streaming services than they did through cable and broadcast networks in the month of May, Nielsen said in a report on Tuesday. It is the first time that has happened over a full month.â Culturally this has been the case for a long time, but now the data supports it. And what changed? âOlder viewers watch a lot of television, more than any other cohort â one-third of all viewing comes from this group. And they have been moving to streaming in droves in the last few yearsâ- The New York Times
NOTABLE NEW RELEASE(S) đ & đș
28 Days Later
I really donât understand what it is about zombies and human flesh, since Iâve âallegedlyâ never tasted it myself. (editorâs note: âŠâŠ?)
Itâs like our muscles and skin flaps imbue godlike powers which allow them to stay mobile whilst simultaneously being dead. Itâs a damn right contradiction in terms. Which I wouldnât know anything about, because, again, Iâve never supped on tasty people meat. âAllegedly.â (editorâs note: ok, what is going on here)
But whatever it is, the whole situation sure does make for a potent canvas for cinema. Going all the way back to 1932âs White Zombie and the birth of the modern zombie genre in George A. Romeroâs stellar Night of the Living Dead.
But when 28 Days Later came out in 2003, it turned zombies from shuffling hordes into sprinting banshees in a revitalization of the entire genre. Itâs as if the brain eaters got a nice lil upgrade. It was a good enough one that it almost makes you want to kinda sorta consider taking just a teansy itty bitty dip into the pool of cannibalism. Which Iâve never dove into. Allegedly. (editorâs note: nope, nuh uh, not having it. You keep using âallegedlyâ in the exact wrong way. You say âallegedlyâ when youâre accused of doing something wrong. Not when youâre refraining from doing the thing that you most certainly should not be doing. All youâre doing is making us think youâve consumed parts of another human!!)
âŠâŠ..
(editorâs note: Thatâs it. Iâm done, Iâm fucking done. Heâs all yours folks.)
Now where was I? Oh, right, Danny Boyle reinvigorated zombie movies and now he's back to do it all over again with his acting friends Jodie Comer, Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Ralph Fiennes. Mind you there was a sequel titled 28 Weeks Later in 2007, but that had neither Boyle nor original screenwriter Alex Garland (who wrote and directed Ex Machina, Civil War) involved. This is a kickstart for what Boyle and Garland hope is a trilogyâone that explores how humans have evolved alongside their apex predator.
And oh boy does it sound like it was worth the wait.
âthis tense and tender post-apocalyptic drama contends that to exist in denial of death is to corrupt the integrity of life itself.â - from the IndieWire review of 28 Years Later
Itâs one of those cases where the content of the reviews match the peaks of the Rotten Tomatoes score. I.e. critics arenât just recommending it, theyâre gushing about it. They say it goes well beyond a âzombie movieâ in the most literal sense. But in itâs genre expansion, it still holds onto the core of what it isâa story of survival in the most trying of circumstances.
In other words, you may be leaking fluids from multiple parts of your body. So maybe bring tissues, and diapers, just in case.
And if anyone says you peed yourself, you know what to do.
âAllegedly.â
Out: Friday
Where: Movie Theaters
Details: 1 hr 55 mins | R | đ : 95%
Elio
This is a Pixar movie. And that means something to people.
Iiiiitâs just a bit unfortunate that means lowered expectations after the insane highs Pixar achieved with many of their insta-classics from the early days. Itâs almost unfair to compare something new to a movie like UP, Toy Story, Finding Nemo or Wall-E. The shit was just that good.
And itâs not like they started making complete garbage, not even close. I thought Soul and Turning Red were excellent, and canât forget Coco, which borders on insta-classic imho. Hell, even Luca was a nice little diddy (not that one). But there hasnât been a Pixar movie thatâs become a sensation in a good while. And Inside Out 2 doesnât count, even if it became the biggest animated movie ever at the box office, because that was playing off the installed love of the first one. Sure, Pixarâs last movie, Elemental, ended up making some good money after an initially weak opening, but thereâs a solid chance the average person doesnât even know that movie.
Itâs a lot of pre-amble to say, Elio looks like itâs a very nice movie from the folks at Pixar who are very good at what they do. It looks pretty as hell, has compelling themes of learning to feel comfortable with who you are, there are goofy little alien creatures that are also cute af and itâs set in space with being Lightyear.
And reviews say it is all that, but itâs also not quite more than that. It isnât that âPixar plusâ kind of movie where they just absolutely kill it for kids, adults and everyone in-between (donât ask whatâs in-between).
Which means youâre almost certainly going to enjoy yourself, you may like it far more than Iâm leading on!, but thereâs a strong case to be made that you wonât remember the movie in 5-10 years like you did with og Pixar.
Which is ok! Things change.
But weâll always have the opening scene of UP.
Out: Friday
Where: Movie Theaters
Details: 1 hr 39 mins | PG | đ : 85%
EXTRA CREDIT MOVIE(S) đ
Bride Hard - fun puns aside, this doesnât look like the most fun movie. Sure it wants to be fun, but the reviews say this Bridesmaids action comedy is tired and a bit cheap looking. - Movie Theaters Friday
KPop Demon Hunters - exactly what it says it is! Group of singers must battle their mortal enemies, a KPop boy band. No reviews, because this is a Netflix flick. - Netflix Friday
Everythingâs Going to be Great - a family thatâs also its own acting troupe movies to taker over a repertory theater. The reviews are few, but while they say Allison Janney and Bryan Cranston are their usual delightful selves, the affair doesnât know what it wants to be and thus ends up being nothing. Except a bit tedious. - Limited Theaters Friday
THE TRAILERS âŻ
Spaceballs 2: The Sweat Strikes Back* - oh fuck yes.
Note: I may have made up âThe Sweat Strikes Backâ sub-title.
Springsteen: Deliver Me From Nowhere - Bruce Springsteen isnât a god. But youâd think he was after watching the trailer for his biopic featuring The Bear star Jeremy Allan White as Bruce.
The Naked Gun - Frank Drebin is back. This time with a Jr. attached to his name.
I Know What You Did Last Summer - cool, was it fun watching me sit at a desk?
In Your Dreams - brother and sister go lucid dreaming.
Clockwork if that clock had some lose associations with the notion of time.