The fastest email in the west...

...er, I mean east.

Feb 19, 2025

THE QUOTE 🎬 💬

“No matter where you run, you end up running into yourself.”

hint:do they even eat breakfast in this movie?

THINK THOUGHTS 💭

This is going to be the fastest edition of WIT+ I’ve hopefully ever written. On account of the flying to the near antipode of my home, Los Angeles. In fact, currently flying over *checks seat back screen* Kunming, China. It looks… small, yet vast. Rocky too.

I mean, this might end up being a good thing, help me focus and all that. You know, in fact, I was thinking about that, because sometimes I overthink these and it’s… shit, now I’m overthinking the overthinking. No thinking, just writing!

Post writing edit: not the fastest email I’ve probably every written.

NEWSY BITS 👾

‘Goonies’ Sequel in the Works With Steven Spielberg and Chris Columbus Producing - turns out they took their catchphrase literally. - The Hollywood Reporter

Natalie Portman-Lena Dunham Rom-Com ‘Good Sex’ Sparks EFM Bidding War With Offers At $45M+ - this might seem like an headline to include, a movie is being made, and? But it’s a mark of a legit trend that is happening: “woman is finally focusing on her sex life in her 40’s and 50’s, often with younger men, usually after divorce or in an affair scenario.” See: movies Babygirl, Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy, The Idea of You, Lonely Planet, Good Luck to You, Leo Grande — books Miranda July’s All Fours, Gillian Anderson’s book on female sexual fantasies, Want and this encapsulation by an actual woman in her 50’s. You could say “sex sells,” but I think the bigger takeaway here is “good sex sells.” - Deadline

Brady Corbet Says He Made “Zero” Money From ‘The Brutalist’ - “Yes. Actually, zero.” the director confirmed. All while The Brutalist is nominated for a Best Picture Oscar, and Corbet has been on the literal campaign trail working 7 days a week. Yeesh. - The Hollywood Reporter

EXTRA CREDIT MOVIE(S) 📝

Cleaner - Daisy Ridley (Rey in the recent Star Wars trilogy) is basically John McClane and this is basically Die Hard. Hell, they had the gumption to set it in a skyscraper where Ridley is the window, yup, you guessed it, installer. Jk, she’s the cleaner. The reviews say director Martin Campbell, who made Bond movies Casino Royale and GoldenEye knows what he’s doing for the most part, but that you hope for more from an action movie with his bonafides. Playing in Limited Theaters Friday

Millers in Marriage - pretty middle-aged (mostly) white people get divorced, have some sex (not all together, this isn’t a porno ya perv—plus, three of them are siblings!) and discuss their discomfort with life not turning out like they thought it would. Basically exactly the kind of movie you thought Edward Burns would be making if you watched what he made in his 20’s. The reviews are limited, but yeah, they say it’s a talky movie where the subjects will inevitable make big life decisions “because movie.” While that reason is enough for some when you have a solid cast making those decisions (this does), it might be quite too trite for others. Playing in Limited Theaters & VOD Friday

NOTABLE NEW RELEASE(S) 🎟 & 📺

The Monkey

I’m the kinda freak that when the worst stuff is happening during horror movies, I laugh. To the point I’m sure someone who’s been in the theater with me during these ill-timed outbursts questioned whether they were sitting next to a sadist who deeply enjoys the torture and mutilation of other humans.

I mean, you’ll never really know if it’s the case, but I’m stating publicly here1 it’s less that, and more just delighting in the macabre. Plus, I know it’s a movie, what I’m watching isn’t real.

But in most instances (though definitely not all), the deaths in horror movies aren’t supposed to make you giggle like a 3rd grader who’s best friend just farted during silent reading. They’re intended to terrorize and scare the bejeebus out of you. The best of them would even make the skin on creepy crawlies crawl2.

This is what director Osgood Perkins was trying to achieve with his last movie, Longlegs. And for many people, it did exactly that. He established himself as “a new voice in horror” <- said some critic somewhere I’m sure.

Theo James in The Monkey probably wondering how long of a shower he has ahead of himself

So when you watch the trailer for The Monkey and see people turning into mists of blood, you would expect he’s doing the same here. And yet...

See, Perkins has a certain history with death. Beyond knowing he will inevitably die, both his parents saw their end in manners more tragic than most—his father, Anthony Perkins from Psycho fame, died due to complications with AIDs. His mother, Berry Berenson, was on one of the planes that was flown into the World Trade Center on 9/11. Perkins commenting during an interview on how he responded to that particular event, "What? Huh? Wait a minute. That’s a thing that can happen?”

These are the true horrific events that can and do happen. They’re absurdly awful and at the same time, absurd. No one expects to die in the most horrific ways. But we keep seeing them on the news3.

Perkins has decided to laugh at the possibilities rather than live in fear of them.

And he chose a short story of the same name from Stephen King to do so. But whereas that was more traditionally horror, this is a legit effort in comedy.

“I was clear from the start that this wouldn't be jump scares, it wouldn't be really dark - it was gonna be heartfelt and redemptive. A good time at the movies.“

Now. The question for you my dear friend and reader, is do you find all manners of horrific deaths to be something worthy of amusement, especially when they’re shot for that expressed purpose?

Fwiw, it seems Perkins has again achieved his goal. Turning a story about twin brothers with a complicated relationship who become bearers of this monkey’s murderess tendencies into something that might get you to feel the same way you do when you watch Step Brothers for the 23rd time. Though maybe not exactly the same way.

Hell, you might even feel a little bit better knowing that your demise is unlikely to be quite as gruesome as what you’re ~~watching~~ laughing at onscreen.

Watch the Trailer

Out: Friday

Where: Theaters

Details: 1 hr 38 mins | R | 🍅: 84%

Movies are better with (good) company.