What's love got to do with it?

Everything of course.

Mar 02, 2023

“You missed the field trip David Gardner!”

In your estimation, how many DVDs did you own at the height of your collecting (for many the binge was highest during the late 90’s to the mid-to-late-aughts1)? Hell, include your VHSssssss. Please don’t answer this obviously rhetorical question, because all I really want you to do is conjure the thought. And how many do you own now? Probably a loooot less (unless you’re a certain friend of mine named Caitlyn - hi Caitlyn!). Solid chance it’s even zero.

But, but, but… if you don’t have a bookshelf full of DVD cases, how do your dates, guests and peeping voyeurs know that you’re an ardent fan of both the majestically weepy Big Fish AND the “such a tough watch, but great” American History X?! See, owning, and most importantly, showcasing DVDs, while long (long) past its prime was a very effective way to express your tastes and preferences. The movies and shows you care about are in some ways an extension of you - a lover, someone who enjoys goofy humor, complex. Your Netflix watched list just doesn’t compare.

Over the years I’ve thought about if there’s a way to bring this back in some form. Even discussed with others when I was at Paramount. I thought it’d be cool to be able to have some representation of your darlings. Ya know, something that could kick off a discussion, maybe even a connection?

I recently realized that it already exists and it’s been here for a good damn while. They’re… Funko Pops. Funko whato?? If you don’t know the name, you may know the face(s).

Yes, that is a (skinny!) Tony Soprano next to Russell from UP!. Two veeeery different media properties, (essentially) the same little doll. By one calculation from early last year there were 8,366 different variations of this adorable bug eyed toy. I.e. a lot of opportunities for fans to express their fandom!

I don’t know why it took me so long to figure this out, especially since I’ve known about them for quite a while and even own a few myself, but people’s love to express themselves didn’t die with the DVD, it just found other outlets. Because while Funko Pops have probably become “the” version2 - the company’s revenue hit $1 billion in 2021, and the collectibles aftermarket may be just as big - there are also plenty of other places for expression (yes, Disney has been doing this forever but Disney fandom is a completely different discussion). For example, have you perused a LEGO catalog in the last couple years?? It feels like they’ve partnered with every media brand imaginable. Well, except The Sopranos of course - though just you wait.

But at least with LEGOs you get to build something. Funko Pops just… sit there (well, stand technically). But when you learn the average age of the Funko consumer is 35, that makes sense. They’re less a toy and more of an identity thing. I came to my realization recently when I bought an Ash (from Evil Dead) Funko Pop for one of my best friend’s birthdays. We grew up watching the franchise and me giving it to him is a recognition of that time and our mutual affinity for the movies. It’s part of our shared history, but also something I know he’ll proudly display on his desk (mantle?).

But even my focus on the physical is somewhat antiquated. Because while Facebook may have tried to create a digital bookshelf way back in the day with Likes, no one really looked at it. But if you consider how a younger set might express themselves, they can do it through places like Fortnite (so many skins, fits and emotes), Roblox or probably plenty of other places I’ve yet to hear about because I’m “old.” It may be less static than something like a Funko Pop, but solid chance so are their favs.

I guess the point here is that while behaviors may change, the motivations behind them usually don’t. People still enjoy watching “stuff,” arguably more than they ever have, and still want to express that love to others. And while the number of Funko Pops one will own is likely to be less than the number of DVDs they used to have, I would venture to guess the passion behind all of them adds up to the total, or even eclipses, the passion they had for their entire DVD catalogue. Smart, make a completely unmeasurable metric so you can’t be refuted. Hey, I never said I was fair.

What about you? Do wonder what the hell I’m talking about or is your study littered with the little Funko buggers?

Extra Credit Movie(s):

A Little White Lie - as we’ve discussed, good actors do bad (looking) movies. Michael Shannon, Kate Hudson, Zach Braff, Don Johnson and others star in this streaming fodder about an everyman mistaken for a famous writer. I guarantee people will watch and say “hey, it wasn’t that bad.” So if you feel like you’re one of those people, and you like one of the persons above, this might be a two hour time waster for ya. The few reviews that exist are pretty limp. But as noted, you may be more forgiving. Playing in Limited Theaters and on VOD this Friday.

Demon Slayer: To the Swordsmith Village - I generally don’t even mention the raft of anime movies that come out because their audiences are so hyper specific, and fervent, that I feel like it’s a waste of time for both sides - people who wouldn’t care if they knew about them and people that don’t need me to tell them cuz they already know. But seeing as I just went on about fandom, I feel it makes sense to. No reviews yet, but the last Demon Slayer movie actually got quite a good response. Playing in Theaters this Friday.

According to my super-duper-extra-precise-scientific-calculations, if you took all the baby oil, grease, drool from fans of the jacked to the max bodies of the movie’s stars3 or whatever it is they use to make the flesh sweaty and shiny in Creed III, hauled it up in one of those unidentified objects that’ve been flyin’ over the US recently, and just like, let it drop… I’m pretty sure it would envelop the entirety of the continental United States. And a teeny bit of Canada. But only a teeny bit. (For the sake of stars Michael B. Jordan and Jonathan Majors, I do hope this unknown substance is certified organic.)

But when you’re the second sequel of a spinoff from a six movie franchise (your math is correct, this adds up to nine!!! movies in the Rocky-verse), you gotta up the ante somehow. And while there are sure to be lots of glistening pecs, traps and delts, there’s apparently much more to focus your attention on in the directorial debut of star Michael B. And since we’re on the topic of firsts, it’s worth mentioning Creed III earns the distinction of being the only Rocky movie (is this still a Rocky movie??) to not star Sylvester Stallone as the Italian Stallion. But reviews are not lamenting his departure, in fact one could say they’re quite a-ok with it4, saying it fits the series and arc of Jordan’s Adonis character.

And though it may not center on the series’ originator, it does appear to include many of the classic boxing staples - most importantly (to 12 year old boys), the training montage. But even if Jordan felt compelled to unintentionally(?) reference Jean-Claude Van Damme’s Kickboxer by including a sequence of himself punching a tree, he also has brought a legit reason to punch said conifer - Jonathan Majors’ (whom you may recognize as Kang from the recent Ant-Man) character Damian. A conveniently forgot about long lost friend from Adonis’ past who comes back looking for not just a fight, but many of them5.

Critics are in near unison about their love of Majors’ acting and the complexity of his “villain.” Quotes because the character’s motivations appear to be rich enough that even though you’ll likely still be rooting for Adonis, there’s a good chance you’ll conjointly empathize with Damian.

And I haven’t seen this exact comparison out there, but I can’t help but feel like there is more than a twinge of the first Black Panther in here, with Majors’ Damian holding a similar left to languish thus understandably vengeful space as Killmonger did just as Adonis sits in the gotta justify my place spot that Black Panther was given. The movie’s story was created by Panther (and first Creed) director Ryan Coogler after all…

The gist is that you should get most of what you assume, but done in a manner that allows you to feel like the movie justified its existence. But expect some flourishes from Jordan’s directing style here and there, which a number of reviewers say is overtly influenced by his love of anime, showing up most prominently in the fight sequences.

“This conflict is not only compelling but refreshingly self-contained, making it the rare modern sequel that benefits from the complicated history of its franchise but also feels as if it would play just as well to someone with no prior experience or interest in it.” - from the Observer review of Creed III

Out: Friday

Where: Theaters

1 hr 56 mins | PG-13 | 🍅: 91%

Watch the Trailer

If this reeks of the dreaded “didn’t that come out already?” that’s because it should, because it almost did. Twice. It was a few weeks from release multiple times last year, but was reportedly pulled because some of the characters in the movie were Ukranian and do bad stuff. Not sure how offended the watchers of Guy Ritchie action movies would’ve been / will be, but decisions were made and here we are. 🤷‍♂️ And if you just read the phrase “Guy Ritchie action movie'“ and thought, yeah ok, I know what’s going on here. You do. The only thing that’ll likely surprise and delight - as she always seems to - is Aubrey Plaza. Who as a member of lead Jason Statham's team, shows all the boys (including Hugh Grant with his second appearance in a Ritchie film) that when delivered well, words can wound as badly as any firearm6.

Out: Friday

Where: Theaters

1 hr 54 mins | R | 🍅: 60%

The ebb and flow of trailers is always fascinating. One week we have a flood of “must see” trailers and others, a bunch of movies no one knew existed. But sometimes that allows one to be delighted, like with the random movie that is Mafia Mamma. A certain stinker until you have Toni “please cast her in everything” Collette as your lead.

So with further ado, please take it away Ms Collette…
A horror movie that looks funnier and smarter than you probably initially guessed it would? Mmmm hmmmm.
If you watch a lot of stand up, you probably know who Bert “shirtless standup dude” Kreischer is. But even if you don’t, you still might know his extremely successful bit The Machine. Well Kreischer took the bit even further and made a movie about the (fictional) years later aftermath aptly titled… The Machine.
A Thousand and One looks like it could be one in a million.